Thursday, January 31, 2008

It's beginning to look a lot like... winter! (still)

This summer my nieces and nephew spent the summer with us in Idaho. They are from California. Rebecca is 13, Emily is 11, and Parker is 10. It was a lot of fun having them here! When we moved to our new house, we found that there is a fire hydrant in the corner of our lawn. From the top of the hydrant is a long snow pole (red and white pole that sticks up about 4 feet). My nieces and nephew asked what the pole was for. I told them it was to tell drivers there is a hydrant there when the snow piles over it. They were in SHOCK! They could not believe the snow got that high! Well, here is a picture to show what I was talkin' about!

That skinny white thing is the snow pole... You can't see the hydrant! (FYI: We have 3 feet of snow on our grass)
This is the snow on top of our roof... yes those are Christmas lights... Do you think I'm going to take them down in this weather??
This is a mountain of snow at Wal-Mart...
Look at the snow on the top of this car!!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

not-so-profound blog

I wish I had something profound to say today... I don't though :) The weather is still awful!
I've been sick again. The doctors don't really know what is wrong with me. I mean, they know I have Pancreatitis and all... but there is something more. It is frustrating to know I don't feel well, and not know why.

There is nothing really in the news lately that I have an opinion on... hmm... I suck at this blogging thing :) nothing much is new really... I think I'll take a few days off from writing. Maybe when I come back I'll be ultra-profound!

Happy cold day!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Mass chaos

I got up and went to work this morning (in a blizzard)... around 11 AM the principal announces that because of weather school is closing early. The children cheered... but then chaos came! Kids were getting on the wrong busses, etc... Then, busses were not able to get to the country homes. It was a mess!!! Now, the winds are gusting at 45 - 65 MPH... Scary stuff!

But I'm home now! YAY!!

........ To be continued...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Don't you do that... Don't you say your goodbye's

Haha, I watched the Titanic today... Saddest movie ever!!!! I don't even know why I watched it today... I mean, the day after a break up. Really, it was a dumb move. (I'll never let go Jack - I'll never let go.) WAHHH... I need to watch something a lot more uplifting now!

Back to work tomorrow... Unless we get a snow day ;)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Breaking up...

:( Andy and I broke up tonight. I broke up with him. There was just a bunch of stuff that ticked me off. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I am sad about it... but I feel... free again. I do like being in a relationship. I like having someone to hug and kiss and go to the movies with... but it isn't worth it to be in an unsatisfying relationship. I'm not really ready for a relationship. I don't even know who I am. I need to figure my life out before I can love someone.

:(
Sad day

Friday, January 25, 2008

Things I miss...









There are many things I miss from childhood... here are a few:






Cabbage Patch Dolls


Smurfs


Fraggle Rock


Slap bracelets


Trolls


Furbys


Roller Skates (not blades)


Grunge


Pogs


My Buddy!











Dishonesty

I recently read a friend's blog. He wrote about how people "change face" online. I think this is something I do. I don't lie about myself online... but I think that I try to make myself sound "better" than I am. It is normal to have a certain amount of anonymity online. It wouldn't be responsible to pour your heart out for millions of people to read... There are weird-o's out there afterall! But I think it is also irresponsible to be dishonest. I try my hardest to be honest in "real life", but online it really is easy to make your self smarter, more pretty, taller, skinnier, etc... So here's the real stuff about me:
I'm only 5'4", even though I tell people I'm 5'5"
My hair hasn't been it's natural color in years!!!
I hate green beans, but I eat them when I am a guest at a friends house
I say I hate that Nanny show... where the lady comes in and tells people they are bad parents... but really I like it.
I find bad boys attractive

Oh, there are more... I am not in the mood to be too honest ;) But my friend's blog really got me thinkin'...

Happy Friday!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

It's cold... but I still had to go to work :(

Well, I didn't get the hoped for "snow day call"... But, I can't really complain about only working one day this week! :)

I am writing a paper for my Addictions and Compulsions class on Pornography Addiction. This addiction is so nasty! They have compared it to heroin or cocaine addiction!!! The paper should be challenging to write, but interesting. I can't help but think about Bronson when I read the research. I wonder if he would have never become addicted, if he would have committed the crime he did. I guess I'll probably never know, but it makes me curious!

Um, so I need a new book to read! So give me suggestions!!!

Oh, and shout out to Rachel and Nate... I was lame and told them they needed to update their blog... and they already had! haha, I guess I need to check it more often.
Peace

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Woohoo!

The phone call came at 6:30 this morning... COLD DAY! It was -21 this morning, therefore school was cancelled!! I am so excited to have today off! This is my 6th vacation day in a row! Now, we are supposed to get a warm up (up to about 2 degrees) so I will probably have to go to work tomorrow... but then I get Friday off!!!!!!!!!!! This is so rad!
The cold really does suck though. It is freeeeeezing! My truck barely started yesterday...
I watched a movie called Snow Cake yesterday. It was about an autistic woman. I was leery to watch it at first, as it was a "hallmark" type movie. But it got rave reviews, so I decided to watch. I loved it! It really was a wonderful movie! I recommend it to everyone!!! It is not rated, so it is good for the family. So go out and rent it! You'll love it!
That's all for now ;) Happy cold day... again!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Arctic Winds

5:00 am I get a phone call from the person above me on the phone tree... School is closed for a "cold day". We get a cold day if the temperature is -20 or -40 with wind chill. So I decided to flip on the TV to see what the temperature is, while I'm calling the person below me on the phone tree. -21 feels like -32, is what the weather man says. This is the coldest it has gotten since I moved here, and trust me... It is COLD! The cold day worked out quite well, in my opinion, being after a long weekend and all. So, I went back to sleep, and slept until 9! So far, it is a good Tuesday.

I have to write a paper in my Addictions and Compulsions class about pornography addiction. Ya'll know how I hate porn, so it shouldn't be too hard, but I am having a hard time getting motivated to start the research.

Well, I may write more later. I have nothing very important to say right now!
Happy Cold Day

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Human Rights Day

Martin Luther King Jr. was an amazing man. Not only does he inspired dreams with his "I have a dream speech"... I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. -- civil rights march on Washington, D.C., August 28, 1963. (Source: The New York Times)... He also inspires people to do what is right, no matter the consequences.... He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. -- "Stride Toward Freedom," 1958.

I love and respect Martin Luther King Jr. I cannot imagine living in a time when people were judged by their skin color. MLK stood up for what he KNEW was right, and he fought for it until death. I only wish I could be that strong and passionate about my beliefs.

Today is a day to honor MLK. Take time out of your day to pay his respects. Here is a link I found that is awesome... http://www.stanford.edu/group/King/newsletter/index.htm In this link you can read all about MLK and even listen to his famous speeches!

Human Rights Day isn't just another holiday to enjoy off work... It is a holiday to remember who we are as people.

Happy Human Rights Day...

"Find a job that you love doing and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius

Books I love!!!


Okay, so everyone pretty much knows that I love learning about mental illness. So, here is my list of books I love (most of them have to do with DID/MPD).


~First Person Plural: It’s an autobiography of a man with 25+ personalities caused by incestuous sexual abuse. His story starts from his discovery and hardships with the disorder and he relates how he overcomes his denial and faces his strange and frightening reality of being a multiple. He goes on to study psychology intensely and get a phD. This is one of the most gripping, intense, and interesting books I’ve ever read and I recommend it highly.


~Flock: I personally think this book received better reviews that deserved. Although I do admit that this book was an easy read (for the most part), if you’ve read other books on DID, this is pretty much the same-o, same-o. The relationship she had with her therapist is rather unrealistic unless you’re thinking of a therapist without strong boundaries. I have a therapist whom I can contact whenever I need to, but I would never go to their home. The thing that made this book just plain boring was all of the journal pages. Now, I know that I’m talking as a multiple, so I do suppose that the journal pages might be interesting to people who just want to learn about it. But book after book of MPD, this one doesn’t stand out from the rest. Just this multiple’s view.


~Get Me Out of Here: A book about Borderline Personality Disorder. As the 29-year old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes- including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and sexual promiscuity. With astonishing honesty, Reiland's memoir reveals what mental illness feels like and looks like from the inside, and how healing from such a devastating disease is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones.


~Redeeming Love: This book is NOT about mental illness. But it is fabulous!!! I cried (yes, really cried) while reading this book. Even though it is quite long, I read it in 2 days! I couldn't put it down. Redeeming Love opens with the Gold Rush of 1850 and its rough-and-tumble atmosphere of greed and desire. Angel, who was sold into prostitution as a child, has learned to distrust all men, who see her only as a way to satisfy their lust. When the virtuous and spiritual-minded Michael Hosea is told by God to marry this "soiled dove," he obeys, despite his misgivings. As Angel learns to love him, she begins to hope again but is soon overwhelmed by fear and returns to her old life. Rivers shines in her ability to weave together spiritual themes and sexual tension in a well-told story, a talent that has propelled her into the spotlight as one of the most popular novelists in the genre of Christian fiction. This is one of her best.


~Prozac Nation: Though this book offers little insight into the malady and it's treatment, Elizabeth Wurtzel writes of her own personal experiences with depression throughout college in a somewhat compelling and intriguing way. The book doesn't set out to make any real mind-altering points, or change anyone's opinion in any way, it merely tells "only a small personal tale of one person's mental [anguish]."


~A Bright Red Scream: The most startling revelation I experienced while reading this book - which is a page turner in and of itself - is that I had the impression that I was somehow unique and special in the fact that I was a self-mutilator (because it is such a personal method of self-expression often shrouded in cultivated secrecy and privacy on the part of the self-mutilator) and that I managed to overcome my urges by finally learning how to feel my feelings and address my issues in healthier ways as "normal" people do. This book, however, made me realize that it was almost formula pre-destiny based on the circumstances of my upbringing that would serve as the basis and foundation for the ways I acted out down the road in my teenage years. I was left with the sense that, given all the criteria of what makes a injurer an injurer, I almost had no choice but to do what I did in order to survive and cope - and the act IS a form of survival and coping when you are given the message while growing up that control and perfection is crucial and any overt, yet healthy and normal, form of emotional expression is not okay for whatever reason.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

My favorite movies

Okay, today you get a random post. I'm too tired to think of anything clever or important :) I spent all night with Andy, so I haven't had much sleep.

So, here is a list of my favorite movies (no, they won't ALL be Adam Sandler movies).

#1. The Shawshank Redemption: Stephen King wrote this movie... but it doesn't seem much like a Stephen King flick. Tim Robbins has to be one of my favorite actors by far. It is a great movie!


#2. The Wedding Singer: I know, I know... you expected this to be the number 1 movie on my list. Adam Sandler is by far my favorite actor. This movie combines romance with humor... and is by far one of the best movies Adam Sandler has been in.


#3. Groundhog Day: Funny as heck! Really, for awhile you think he is lucky because he gets to live his day over and over again. But then, you feel so sad for him. But in the end it turns out really great.


#4. What About Bob: Another Bill Murray film. This really is an awesome film, that shows you how crazy it can be to live in the life of mental illness... it isn't a serious film though, which makes it great!


#5. Finding Nemo: Really this movie could be higher up on the list. I have seen this movie over 25 times. It is a great movie for the whole family (that is my film critic line!) I love the sharks (fish are friends-not food).


#6. The Butterfly Effect: Ashton Kutcher should not be able to pull off a serious film... but he does in this psychological thriller. Are his blackouts a severe mental illness or can he really travel through time?


#7. 28 Days: Sandra Bullock makes you believe she is suffering from Alcoholism. This movie is a tear-jerker, even for me. Grab a Kleenex and watch Sandra suffer and heal through rehab.


#8. Number 23: Another psychological thriller. Jim Carrey is fabulous in this film. What does the number 23 mean to you? Don't start thinking about it... you will go crazy too!


#9. Fight Club: It is a gruesome movie, but it is really great. I know it is violent, and normally I don't like violence... but this movie really grabbed my attention. I think Brad Pitt is great in this movie... I also LOVE Edward Norton! He is an awesome actor!!!


#10. Memento: WOW. Awesome movie. Leonard lost his mind... literally. Now he has to find his wife's murderer... but how do you find a murderer, when you can't remember what you did 3 minutes ago.


Okay, there is my top 10.... (and only one was Adam Sandler! But of course, Adam Sandler movies trump all) :)

The WORST movie of all time: Fear Dot Com. No description needed.... it just haunted me!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Sick day...

Okay, I was really excited to take today off... and now I just feel guilty. I shouldn't expect a sub to be able to handle the antics of the boy I work with. I hope it is going well. I shouldn't feel guilty about taking a day off... but I do. And, I have to drive down to Idaho Falls today... It is snowing like crazy and the roads are super slick! Oh joy... I have to go though. I skipped therapy last week, so I need to go. Plus, I get to see Andy. :) I miss him. I haven't seen him since last Friday. It is hard for us to see each other during the week. Our schedules are kind of opposite.


I did my taxes early this year, like always. When I do this I usually get a refund in 7-10 days... Not this year! The IRS changed laws in the middle of the tax season, so now I have to wait until the end of February to get a refund. So, I get punished for filing early. Rude! I am getting quite a bit back this year... I have waited and waited to qualify for Earned Income Credit. You have to be 25 in order to get this credit... Now I'm 25 and guess what???? I make too much money. HAHA... according to whom? I barely survive month to month, and that is too much money? Oh well, I guess it is better used for those with children anyway.


YAY for a long weekend! I got to teach the boy I work with about Martin Luther King. It was really cool to see him listen about the unfair treatment of the black people. He didn't really know anything about it. I told him about Rosa Parks too. That is something he can relate to, because he rides the bus everyday. Anyway, it made me feel good to teach him something :)



Martin Luther King Jr.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

A long weekend :)

I may write more later...

I get to take tomorrow off :) And Monday is MLK day... So I get a 4 day weekend! AND, next Friday is "teacher development day"... and I'm not a teacher. Do you know what that means? That means I get NEXT Friday off too. YAY!


I'm taking an Addictions and Compulsions class right now. It is really sad to see the before and after pictures of those on Meth. It is sad to hear about the 12 year old kids who get addicted because their parents give them drugs. It is sad to hear about those who want so desperately to quit and can't. Adam Sandler says it best (yes... Adam Sandler)


Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it. Adam Sandler


It's snowing... again. I'm getting kinda sick of snow! The kids at school today invented their own snow shoes. It was very funny. They are reading Hatchet and Brian's Winter in class. The books are really great!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A long Wednesday...

I woke up this morning hoping and praying for another snow day. Even though it was -17, we still had to go! It isn't that I dislike my job, because I don't! I actually really love my job... but sometimes you just need a break!

So, my frustration for the day is outsourcing. You call a company, lets just say a credit card company, for assistance... and someone named "Mojodumandalejoyuma" answers. Now, I am trying not to sound racist. I appreciate that they are trying to make a living. But honestly, I struggle to understand them. It isn't just that though... I guess I get frustrated also because businesses in the US pay these people 2.50 an hour... maybe, for a job an American would demand 9.00 an hour for. It just seems unfair all around!

I have no opinion about politics... although I hope Hilliary Clinton doesn't win.

I am finding that I don't have an opinion about many things... I need this to change... So as I blog, I am going to find my opinions.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Long awaited pictures...





Well, maybe you aren't oh-so-excited to see pictures of my truck, cats, and family... but here they are anyway :)




My last 2 cars were green... therefore they were Toad and Toadie... But my truck, well it isn't green and it needs a more... hmm... a more... powerful name. I am looking for suggestions! As of now, the truck has no name.







My kittens, well... they are adorable! The have grown a lot over the past 4 months. If you don't know by now, my kittens are Gracie and Roxy. Here they are... playing in their favorite spots!

(They cats are overly cautious about their weight)

They drink toilet water... It's pretty nasty...

Snow day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today... Today, I love Idaho. I love Idaho because the weather is so dang bad that I don't have to go to work! SNOW DAY! I was brushing my teeth when my phone rang... The Superintendent... NO SCHOOL! YAY. He is my favorite person today.

I guess the 2 feet of snow on our grass has finally amounted to something. Hallelujah!

When there is enough light... I'll post pictures. :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

First post

I'm following a trend! I have received 2 e-mails this week telling me my friends have created blogs... So I am creating one too. I am horrible at keeping in touch, so maybe this will help me out a little! Really, not much new and exciting happens in my life often. But, since most of the people who might read this blog are not living near me... maybe everything is new and exciting... :)

So... I guess the first exciting thing is that I met an awesome guy! We have been dating for about a month now. His name is Andy. Everything about him is wonderful. He took me out to a very nice dinner on New Year's Eve, and we walked by the Idaho Falls. It was FREEZING! But very fun.

I have been sick for a couple of weeks, and he has been very kind to me. He came over the other day to meet my mom and watch movies with me while I was sick. So far, I am having a ton of fun with him.

I am working a second job now. I am working with two girls after school who both have behavior problems. They are 3rd and 4th grade. It adds 13 hours to my work week, but so far it's great!

I bought a 2004 Toyota Tacoma on New Year's Eve. It is my DREAM car... next to a Mustang... But in Idaho snow, a Mustang isn't really a smart car. I love my truck and will post pictures soon.

Hmm... What else? I am still working on my Master's Degree... it is slow going, but I'll finish someday :)

My kittens are doing fabulous too! They are getting big! Hmm. I miss Utah, but am learning to like Idaho. I can't believe I've lived here a year now!!!