Thursday, January 21, 2010
Emotions = suck
As an aspiring therapist, I want people to talk about their emotions and feelings. But... I don't want to talk about emotions. I have emotions and they suck and I really hate them. So tomorrow was the day I planned to tell my therapist I was done. I was done with talking and emotions and crap. But now I'm scared. I'm scared to lose my lifeline. I'm scared I will bury these emotions and get sick. I don't want to be the old me. I don't want to be the me that is crazy and incapable of dealing with life and crap. I want so desperately to be normal. To have friends. To date. To experience life. If I quit on therapy, what will life be. If I don't deal with these issues, can I ever move on? This sucks.
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1 comment:
Okay, fine, I'll comment here too! I'm sorry it sucks. Bleh. But on a lighter note, I personally found it very, very helpful to stop wanting to be normal and instead to start wanting people to respect me as my thoroughly nonnormative self. (Hey, and the high-heeled professor was actually one of the original people who helped me notice that this option existed!) But at this point I can't imagine not liking to talk about emotions any more than I can imagine desperately wanting to be normal, so perhaps don't listen to me! And do let me know whether you can or can't handle some nonnormativity, because I suddenly feel that I should really update you on my boring adventures--they're relevant to this, really, or at least sort of!
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