Where are you Christmas?

I know it’s been quite awhile since I last posted… Some days I just can’t find the energy to blog on top of everything else. With Christmas quickly approaching (and a month long break from graduate school) I figured I’d write something.

The last month has been an emotional one. 5 weeks ago my friend Lori called to tell me her husband (basically my adopted dad), David, was in ICU. He had to have emergency brain surgery to remove an abscess from his brain, and he was (and still is) in critical condition. Because Lori and David are like parents to me, it was an obvious shock! As soon as I could, I made a trip to Utah. I wish I could say the visit was a happy one, but it wasn’t. Sure, I loved seeing Lori and my other Utah friends… but seeing David helpless and vulnerable brought tears to my eyes (and I don’t cry!!) (This is a picture of David one of the days I visited).

One day while I was at the hospital, Lori’s dad and brother-in-law gave David a blessing. The spirit was so strong in the room, I just know David had to feel it. Although I am not a religious person, I know God is listening to each and every prayer for David. David was able to squeeze my hand one time while I was there… He also mouthed “I love you” to Lori, which again made me cry! Since then, he has had 2 more surgeries, a stroke, meningitis, and many complications. He has 3 tubes draining abscesses from his brain. He rarely responds, and when he does it is just a hand squeeze or thumbs up. The doctors removed the breathing tube and replaced it with a trach tube in his throat. Since then he has improved slightly.

Lori’s niece entered them into a secret Santa “contest” in a local radio station (I think 97.1, but don’t quote me)… Well, the radio station gave Lori’s family a nice bunch of gifts including 4 tires for Lori’s van, gift cards, Wii games for Hunter and Morgan, and more. I am SO grateful to this radio station, and Lori’s niece. This family is SO deserving! I went out myself and picked out a few things for Hunter, Morgan, Treavor, and Lori… I wish I could have done more, but I felt like I needed to do something. I’m sure Lori won’t feel up to doing much shopping. I know that all they want is for David to be home… but it is going to be awhile before that happens. I love Lori and David, and I hate that this is happening to them. All I can do is pray, but I want to do SO much more!

I have bought, wrapped, and shipped Christmas… I’ve decorated and sang Christmas songs…. but… I just don’t feel like Christmas. I feel like Cindy Lou Who in “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. I feel like Christmas has become all about gifts and commercialism. What about the FEELING of Christmas?

“I'm glad he took our presents. You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor, because it isn't about the... the gifts or the contest or the fancy lights. That's what Cindy's been trying to tell everyone... and me. I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here: my family.”

Isn’t Christmas about the spirit and family and togetherness?? I don’t know… It’s 10 days until Christmas, and I just don’t FEEL it… It’s hard to explain…

Well, besides the sadness, I did get to see my friend’s ADORABLE little girl, Vivian… Thanksgiving was enjoyed with cousins (who think I’m awesome), and my semester ended. Grades haven’t come out yet……. but I think I may be stuck with a B this semester. Oh well… I’ll get over it :)

I miss my family. I can’t believe my cute niece Rosie is 9 months old! The last (and only) time I saw her, she was 2 weeks old… I wish I could see all my nieces and nephews open their fun gifts I bought them… but, I can’t. So, I’ll enjoy Christmas with my mom, and HOPE the spirit finds me sooner than later.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope Christmas finds you!

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