Dear Princess

Dear Princess,

I know you aren’t going to understand why you live in a new home. I know you are going to be scared and angry and confused. I know you will miss me and cry when you don’t get to come home. I know that no words could explain these things to you, because no matter what I say, you won’t understand. You have been the most incredible dog I’ve ever had. I love you more than any animal I’ve ever met and/or owned. You are smart and funny and you are so obedient. The last 4 1/2 years have been wonderful. I never thought of myself as a dog owner, but you have forever changed me. I love you Princess. Please know that your new family loves you and will take care of you just as much as I have. Please know that this decision was the hardest one to make. Be happy little doggy. Enjoy South Dakota. I will miss you everyday. Parker will miss you too. Don’t cry. I love you.

Love,

Mom.

The institution of marriage

Here comes my rant…

I’ve heard so much garbage lately about the horrors of “gay marriage”. Before you keep reading, let me just say that I am in 100% favor of gay marriage. If you don’t agree, you should probably exit this post.

Do you know what I think ruins the institution of marriage? Domestic violence, pornography addiction, drug addiction, alcoholism, child abuse, intolerance… Would you rather see 2 loving men in a marriage or a “traditional” marriage where the man beats and rapes his wife everyday? I know which I’d rather see! Pornography ruined my marriage… and the life of my ex-husband. And if he would have just been HONEST with himself and ME, he could have left the marriage and lived his life happily with another man. Now, will there be abuse and addiction in gay marriages… yeah, probably… but it will the the abuse and addiction that ruins the marriage… NOT the fact that they are homosexual.

Shouldn’t we all have the right to marry who we want to marry? In my grandparents day black men could not marry white women (and vice versa). And now, WE ALL THINK IT’S CRAZY!!!!!! So what will happen in 20, 30, 40 years from now? Will our children and grandchildren think we are crazy for being so homophobic? I know some WONDERFUL people who are gay… who are in wonderful relationships… and WHY SHOULD they have to FIGHT to get married? I do NOT UNDERSTAND.

The end.

Tempus Fugit!

Where has the time gone? The days just zoom by one after another and sure enough it’s almost half way through May! I’m realizing that I don’t follow through with things… I mean, I followed through on getting a Master’s degree, but that’s about it. I need to start sticking to my commitments! (Yes Jackie, I’m admitting I have commitment issues) Anyway… more on that soon (I promise).

A few weeks ago my mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Cancer… what an ugly word. I’m not sure what the appropriate response is to that kind of news, but I’ve been numb. It doesn’t seem real and I mostly want to ignore it. There aren’t any gynecological endocrinologists in the state of Idaho… So we have to go to the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City. Mom’s first appointment is the 23rd and I’m nervous. I mean, I’m sure she is WAY super nervous… but I’m nervous too. I laughed at the possibility of cancer in my immediate family… now I realize I was too naïve. More on that as news comes.

Tomorrow I am getting allergy testing. I went to the ENT like 4 years ago and I was supposed to get the testing then, but I put it off and off and off… so now, I’m finally going in. I haven’t been able to take allergy medication for over a week and I am an itchy, sniffling, sore throaty chick! I hope they find something out so I can be much more healthy! I am losing my health insurance in August, and I’m super nervous! I’ve never gone without health insurance (well, for awhile in undergrad, but there was a student health clinic that was cheap). It is a scary though.

Parker is in baseball and is excited for school to be out in 8 1/2 days! He will be heading to California for the summer and he’s excited about that. He can’t wait to see everyone there.

We went to the baby animal fair this weekend, and as always it was a lot of fun! The reptiles weren’t there, so that was sad… but the bunnies and ducks were dang cute! I wanted to take the bunny home with me!!

Miniature Australian Shepherds

Cutest bunny ever!

Mom and Parker loved this puppy!

THe ducks are my favorite!!!

FUnny pictures

The BIG 3-0

In 3 short months I will turn 30… I know this isn’t a big scary number to be afraid of, but it is a number that makes me contemplate where I have been and where I’m going. It feels like yesterday that I was outside playing with friends without a care in the world.. Now I have bills and worries and a kiddo and life isn’t just about playing. But I do want to make my 30th year on earth a great one. It is a milestone of sorts… I made lists of things I wanted to do before 30… The list:

1) Go to Africa to work in an orphanage.
2) Learn a foreign language.
3) Own a Mustang (Car not horse)
4) Have my Master's Degree.
5) Run a marathon
6) Live on my own (hahahaha, sad that that made the list)
7) Have more than 127 dollars in my savings account.
8) Go on a cruise (conquer my fear of the ocean)
9) Finish my book.
10) "quit" therapy.

11) Skydive

12) Visit every state in the US

 

I think it’s pretty miraculous that I have completed 3/12… I mean, come on… going to Africa? I can’t accomplish that in the next 3 months. And that is okay! This isn’t an end all list, more of a bucket list.

When I was 10, I was a kid that loved sports and being a tomboy and babysitting. When I was 20 I was married. Now I’m going to be 30 and I am a successful, independent woman and I want to find out what that means and what my true goals are. Stay tuned. This is the year of 30!

18-23

18. My mom stands up for what she believes in. She stands her ground and doesn’t put up with injustice.

19. My mom helps me parent… I admit that sometimes I am not a good mommy… Parker gets on my nerves, and back talks, and does things that upset me. My mom helps me put things in perspective. She is a good mom, and has had a lot of practice!

20. My mom is responsible and has taught me to be responsible. Bills first, play later.

21. My mom gives me GREAT advice! She always has, even though as a younger person I didn’t always welcome that great advice.

22. My mom included my dad in family parties, holidays, etc.… even though they were divorced. She knows the value of kids having their dad in their lives.

9 days behind

Okay, so apparently life got in the way… I’m 9 days behind on loving my mom.

9. I love that my mom is such an honest person. She has always taught me that honesty is the best policy!

10. I love that my mom knows each of her kids and grandkids so deeply. She knows exactly what we need, and when we need it!

11. I love that my mom laughs at my silly jokes and stories! She listens to me ALL the time and makes me feel so great about myself!

12. My mom has always helped me see myself as a beautiful person. If I say something negative about myself, she corrects me and reminds me that I’m smart and beautiful and awesome!

13. My mom tells me secrets.

14. My mom types super fast! I know that is a weird thing to love… but for some reason the sound of typing reminds me of my mom. So anytime I’m typing or hear someone typing I automatically think of my awesome mom!

15. I love my mom’s hair. Honestly, if I have to go gray before 35, I want her color!

16. I love all the memories of trips with my mom. We have gone to Mexico, California, New Mexico, Oregon, etc… Oregon was SO much fun with her! We are so compatible when it comes to vacation! She was a lot of fun even when I was puking sick in Mexico

17. I love that my mom respects all people, regardless of their differences in religion or politics or whatever it may be.

April 8th

Happy Easter!

Well, day 8 of loving my mom. I really loved that she went to a Disney matinee AND came to Sushi with us… She isn’t a big fan of matinees because the kids kind of ruin the show with all their endless babble… but surprisingly this one went well. There were only a handful of kids in the theater, and the movie (The Lorax) was surprisingly good. We took Parker to get Sushi for dinner. He loves it. I’m learning to love it, but mom… well, mom doesn’t so much like it. But she loves us enough to spend time with us doing whatever we want to do! So, she tasted the sushi, and didn’t like it, but didn’t hate it… Sushi is the kind of food you either like or dislike… I don’t think there are in between people. And it’s all good, because not all people are created alike. That would be boring! I love that my mom makes holidays special. Easter is a little harder of a holiday for me, because with my dad being gone its sad. My dad loved Easter. He loved hiding eggs and all that went a long with it. But, I get to spend the day with my mom… she is making her world famous Manicotti and I am going to be pregnant with food after this amazing dinner.

I love you mom.

Happy Easter.