Life

Time is a funny thing

2012-01-25T20:31:00.001-07:00

Time is a funny thing… It is funny how fast time can see to fly by, while other times it seems to stop completely (usually when I’m at ~~Hell~~ work).

Today my niece Rebecca called to tell me she has a job interview tomorrow. I can’t help but think about her as a little girl, not a young woman. I like to think of her as still being 3 or 4… When she didn’t sleep and was full of energy. But now she is 17, and next year she’ll be a senior in high school… and then off to bigger and better things. I am so happy for her, and so proud of her accomplishments. Life isn’t easy for her, but she is a fighter! (P.S. I got a call today from Rebecca… and she GOT THE JOB! So proud of her!)

My Uncle Bud passed away a few days ago. He had been sick for quite some time, so it wasn’t shocking… and yet it was shocking. Does that make sense? Anyway, it made me realize how little contact I have with my dad’s side of the family. I really haven’t seen any of them since my Grandma Hazel’s funeral, and that’s been years and years. Oh, yeah, I’m friends with some of them on Facebook… but it just isn’t the same, ya know?

Parker will be going to his well child check in February… Which means he’s been in Idaho for nearly 2 years. Can you believe that? 2 YEARS! Again, this time thing… crazy! Everything just becomes routine, and you don’t even think about all the time that is passing. I was having a conversation with someone today, and they asked how long I’d been divorced.. I was shocked when I said 8 years! Can you believe that? Life is just flying by…

I’m not a huge Country music fan… but Rascal Flatts sings this song called “I’m moving on” and part of it says

“At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone”

I love it. Anyway… I’m going to try to do better at this whole blogging thing…

THIS IS MY UNCLE BUD. RIP! LOVE YOU! 1942-2012.

A mug shot looking picture of Parker… It is one of our “picture a day” pictures.

♥♥♥♥♥

Silly ideas

2012-01-17T18:50:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I get really silly ideas in my head… and I have this Obsessive Compulsiveness that makes me carry out these silly ideas… So, my newest idea…….. Read all of the Newbery Medal award winning books AND the Newbery honor books. I’ve read quite a few so far, because honestly they aren’t that long… but stay tuned because I’m going to give y’all a review of each book. Won’t that be fun?? HAHA. Just nod your head in agreement as you close your web browser! The book I’m currently reading is Sounder. Stay tuned.

♥♥♥

Time flies!

2012-01-16T20:34:00.001-07:00

Can you believe it is already half way through January? It’s funny how time keeps going on even if you don’t think it should. I am in a weird in-between limbo with my counseling career. The licensing board only meets quarterly… which means they won’t meet until February 7th and 8th. Until then, I am not a licensed counselor and can’t bill insurances or Medicaid. It’s really hard to find cash paying clients. I’m only working at the school 2 days per week, so that is super stressful! We have no money, but we are makin’ it and that’s all that matters!

Parker and I made a jar of activities that we will pull out of everyday. Sunday Parker pulled “shoot hoops”. We walked to the school and played basketball for about 2 hours. It really was A LOT of fun! We brought Princess along and she was scared of the basketball and SUPER cold and shivery the whole time… It was sad for her. Tonight Parker drew “make dinner together”. We made chicken alfredo pasta. It was fun and yummy!

On Friday I started the “couch to 5k” program. It helps you… um… get off the couch and run. haha. So, you do it 3 times a week, and it helps you build up your tolerance and such. So I did it Friday and Sunday, and I’ll do my 3rd tomorrow. The second week you jog more and walk less, so I’m nervous. This week it was jog 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds. Next week I think I jog 90 seconds and walk 90 seconds or something like that. Anyway… I’m trying to have fun with it even though I’m SUPER sore! I’m trying to change my life into a healthier life so I can be a good example for Parker.

Oh, and we are doing a picture a day of Parker for the whole year. We are making a movie out of it. It should be fun to watch how he grows and changes.

Let’s see… what else? Oh, we’ve had, like, NO snow! Parker is signed up for ski school and they went the first week and it was all ice. They cancelled it last week, and they probably will this week too. It’s nuts!

Anyway, life is good… I’ll try to keep up more!

2012 resolutions

2012-01-02T19:33:00.001-07:00

First, let’s recap 2011’s resolutions…

1. Graduate with my MASTER’S DEGREE! I DID THIS! I DID THIS! I DID THIS!

2. Pay off debt (and cut up credit cards!) I DID NOT DO THIS I TRIED, I REALLY DID… BUT IT IS JUST HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS!

3. Take Parker to Yellowstone and other fun Idaho places BECAUSE OF INTERNSHIP AND BUSY SCHEDULE (YES, I’M MAKING EXCUSES, I DIDN’T GET TO DO THIS… BUT 2012 IS A NEW YEAR!)

4. Be more active THIS IS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS

5. Stick to my monthly budget UH, NO.

6. Journal once a week PROBABLY MORE LIKE ONCE EVERY 3 MONTHS.

7. Take another photography class NO TIME!

8. Start a savings account (to buy a house!) IT HAS ABOUT 73 CENTS

9. Run a mile (the whole mile) NOPE.

10. LOVE LIFE and BE HAPPY! WORK IN PROGRESS

2012 RESOLUTIONS

1. NOURISH MY MIND AND BODY WITH HEALTHY THINGS

2. Journal monthly

3. Spend more quality time with Parker

4. Pay off ONE credit card

5. Take walks with Parker and Princess

6. Keep my kitchen table clean

7. Write letters (snail mail) monthly to family and friends

8. Catch up on Parker’s scrapbook

9. Cook at home 6 times per week (at least)

10. Be less frivolous

2011 in Pictures!

2012-01-02T18:18:00.001-07:00

JANUARY 2011

Princess got cuter in 2011… I know, you didn’t think it was possible did you!

FEBRUARY 2011

In February Parker was cute… and got his first Idaho black eye… just goofing off though… no fights for this boy!

MARCH 2011

Parker played on the Madison League Basketball team. They only lost 1 game the whole season!!

APRIL 2011 –

Parker and I went to the Living Planet Aquarium in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Easter 2011 – Parker got his MUCH DREAMED of Long board. Best investment the Easter Bunny ever made!

MAY 2011

Parker got his cowboy hat

Parker also played Babe Ruth baseball for Sugar City. They did great! He played left field and 1st base!

JUNE 2011

In June we had our annual family get together. This year we all migrated to mom’s house in Idaho. It was SO much fun! We went to bear world and did a whole lot of visiting!

August 2011

Parker got cuter

Parker started 8th grade at Sugar-Salem Jr. High

September 2011

In September Parker sang at his dad’s wedding… He also broke the growth plate in his ring finger. It was a long healing process, but it looks great now!

October 2011 – Rock and Roll Hoe Down

Instead of a Halloween dance, the Jr. High kids had a rock and roll hoe down… They could dress up as a rocker or a cowboy/girl. Parker, of course was a cowboy… He had all the gear from his dad’s wedding!

Parker had a Halloween party and was dressed up as a very scary Scream character.

December – talent show

Parker sang “Don’t Stop Believin’” in the 2011 Second Trimester Talent Show.

Christmas came a little late for us… Parker came home on New Year’s Eve and celebrated Christmas… we also got the surprise treat of having Kim and the girls here. It was a GREAT way to ring in the new year!

CELEBRATE good times!

2011-12-19T10:48:00.001-07:00

I’m due for an update, don’t ya think? Well, December has proved to be a GREAT month! On the 16th I graduated with a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling (HIGH HONORS) from Capella University. I will apply for licensure and begin working at Rexburg Counseling, the coolest counseling place ever! I can’t believe I made it… sometimes I felt like giving up, but I’m glad I persevered through the tough times!

Tomorrow Parker will head out to California for the Christmas break. Although I’m super sad he won’t be with me, it is good he’ll be with his mom, dad, and sisters. I hope he has an amazing time! And I hope the weather holds up and it’s good driving for his dad.

I’ve had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year, but now that I’m done with school and can let go of stress, I am getting more into it. I mean, it is only 6 days away! I didn’t even decorate! :/ I am very excited to give my mom her gift this year. I can’t tell you what it is, because she might read this and that would suck But it’s cool.

Life just keeps flying by. Parker grew almost an inch in ONE month. He is growing up way too fast. He is too smart and cute for his own good

I can’t wait to see what 2012 brings, because honestly 2011 was pretty cool. New Year’s Resolutions to come soon

Thankful

2011-11-20T20:58:00.001-07:00

So, I just realized that all of my blog posts got deleted… so all of my thankful posts are gone! Darn computer! So, to recap!

1. My family

2. My friends

3. Education

4. Passing the National Counselor Exam

5. A nice place to live

6. A good paying job

7. My internship

8. My internship supervisor, Scott

9. My car

10. My freedom

11. My sanity (when I have it)

12. Diet Coke

13. My therapist

14. Heat

15. The men and women who fight for my freedom

16. My angels in heaven

17. Sharpies

18. Technology

19. My new Ipad 2

20. ALMOST being done with Graduate school

Day 4: D

2011-11-01T20:25:00.001-06:00

D: Dogs (especially Princess)

D: Dad (Miss you!)

D: Duke’s (Lori)

D: Diet Coke

D: Down blankets

D: Dollars (when I have them)

D: DVD’s

My crazy life

2011-09-22T15:40:00.001-06:00

Life has been cRaZy. I don’t even know where to start… or if I should start. Everything is super stressful right now, and it is mostly because I’m not doing very well at prioritizing my time. I am never home anymore… Between Parker’s activities, work, internship, school, trainings, doctors, etc. Whoa, I’m tired! Parker gets the cast off his finger on Tuesday (we hope!) It has been a long recovery and he is REALLY tired of wearing the cast. Because the hard cast is underneath a temporary wrap, he is always tempted to take it off. Yesterday I nearly had to bribe him to keep it on. I know it must be hot and itchy, and it is getting stinky! We can’t wait until Tuesday!

I’m having a ganglion cyst removed from my wrist on Wednesday. It’s nothing major, they don’t even knock me out… It is just quite painful and sits on a nerve, so my hand goes to sleep quite often. I hope the surgery helps.

I have to take the National Counselors Exam (NCE) in 23 days. I’m SO nervous! It is a big deal! It was 320 bucks to sign up for it, and it’s only offered twice a year. So if I fail, I have to fork out another $320 AND wait until April to take it. So, I’m going to be crazy studying until then. My internship has really picked up! I have 8-10 clients per week on average. I’m having fun, but it is a lot of work… and more tiring than I would have expected.

Parker is taking photography this trimester, and he is doing really well! I took the picture of Parker with his longboard, but he took the sunset photos. There was smoke in the air, so the sunset was beautiful. He did a great job at capturing the beauty. I just got back from parent teacher conferences, and all his teachers just love him! That is always good to hear! Well, I’m off to another appointment… I hope to blog more soon!

3 months!!!

2011-09-12T20:00:00.001-06:00

Can you believe it’s been 3 months since I posted? I can… Life has been crazy. I’ll try to put a quick update because there is no way I can fill you in on EVERYTHING.

THESE ARE NOT IN ORDER

1. I moved out of my apartment into a duplex (still in Sugar City)

2. Parker started 8th grade

3. I am still working at the school and completing internship hours

4. I’m never home

5. Parker broke the growth plate in his left ring finger

6. We flew to California for Parker’s dad’s wedding (I got 2 days with Kim)

7. Parker sang at his dad’s wedding

8. My cousin Kevin passed away

9. I had a birthday

10. Princess got cuter

11. I DIDN’T study for my national counselor’s exam

12. Parker is taking a photography class, and is a better photographer than me now!

13. I went to Vegas

14. Life got extremely stressful and overwhelming, so I’m back in therapy. Oh the joys.

A real update with pictures soon, I promise!

Happy Birthday Dad

2011-07-05T22:28:00.001-06:00

Today my dad would turn 71. I can’t believe it’s been 11 years since I’ve seen his face. Time flies! My dad was amazing! He was sick most of my life, but he was still really strong! He loved holidays and always made them special for us. Because dad’s birthday is the day after Independence Day, I always remember us celebrating over the holiday weekend. What better way to celebrate a birthday than a parade and fireworks? I miss my dad so much, and I wish everyday I had told him I loved him more. I know he’s looking down on me from heaven… and I know he’s proud!

Happy Birthday daddy!! Love you!

Unanswered Prayers

2011-06-30T21:49:00.001-06:00

Music means a lot to me. In the last 2 weeks I’ve spent a TON of hours at my internship site working on Medicaid credentialing. It’s a big pain in the butt (you know I love it)… well, as we work (the other intern, Derek, and I) we jam out to my itunes. Well… I do have a weakness for some country music. Garth Brooks is one artist I love. I grew up listening to him, and I think his music is beautiful. So, ask Derek and I were working and jamming and this song came on (Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks). It really made me think (which I’ve been doing a lot of lately). Thanking God for unanswered prayers? What is that all about? But then I started to think about all of my “unanswered prayers” and I began to understand the meaning of this song. When I married Bronson I immediately wanted children. As a youngster I always wanted to be a mom. I begged God to give me a baby. I prayed everyday, I took fertility drugs, I took my temperature, I ate healthy, I tried to lose weight…. but no baby. I got so angry with God. How could He put children in abusive homes, but not one in my home? I would love the baby more than anything in the world. I was sad and angry and confused and hurt. It hurt Bronson too. He became angry with me because I couldn’t give him a child. It caused a lot of contention in our marriage. How could God do this to us? Then December 3, 2003 happened. Bronson was arrested for sexual abuse. The home I wanted to bring a baby into would HAVE been abusive. How was I supposed to know my husband was a predator? I went from baby hungry to the absolute opposite. I vowed I would NEVER have children. How could I trust my instinct? How could I guarantee this child would have a loving father? As I listen to this Garth Brooks song I get it… and I thank God for answering a prayer I didn’t know I had prayed yet. I can’t imagine what life would be like if I had a child with Bronson… So I am thanking God for my unanswered prayer. He really does know it all. I go back and forth with my belief in God, but honestly… how can there not be a God? And now Parker has come into my life and it is the most amazing, complicated experience.

So, I think I’m going to stick with the song theme for awhile. So many times I hear a song that speaks to me… So look forward to it I can’t believe tomorrow is July 1st! Time is flying by!!! I have to pay for my National Counselors Exam tomorrow……… $320…. I take it in October… I better pass! More to come about that soon.

The Man in the Mirror

2011-06-25T09:48:00.001-06:00

I had this song in my head all night last night. Then when I woke up this morning I realized it was the anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. Weird. But I started really thinking about these lyrics and what they mean to me. I am an aspiring therapist. I hope to encourage change in thousands, millions, billions of people (okay, maybe just 10 or 11)… but how can I do that if I don’t change myself first. As a matter of fact, I AM the ONLY person I CAN change! It’s kind of funny too, because every day this week I’ve woken up HAPPY. Tired, worn out from internship, groggy, but HAPPY. I have a song in my head every morning. I truly believe this change has come from inside… I’ve finally decided that I can be happy no matter my past or future. Today can be good. Yes, there are bills to pay and groceries to buy and all that real life stuff, but that’s just stuff. It doesn’t have to change my mood. The stress comes, and I can easily breathe through it. This doesn’t mean I’m not going to have those days where I am anxious, sad, stressed, exhausted, etc.… I will. But it’s nice to know that I am capable of being happy, of moving on from the shit in my past and being happy. I’m turning 29 in a few months, and I realized a while back that I’m ALMOST 30. I know 30 doesn’t seem like a big number to most, but to me I can look back on my “bucket list” and realize ALL the things I wanted to accomplish before 30. And guess what? I’m accomplishing them!!! Okay, I don’t own a Mustang and I haven’t been to Africa… but I’ll have a Master’s degree, I have a great support system, I’m starting to become social and have friends, I’m capable of loving someone more than myself (Parker), I’ve overcome many fears (by 30 spiders won’t make me scream, promise!)… So you see, it isn’t about owning a mustang or being out of debt! What an amazing concept. It really is about today and what I have right now… For instance, right now I have a cold Diet Coke in front of me, a cute, warm dog at my feet, music in the background, and sun shining through the windows. What more could I ask for??? Some would say I could ask for a lot… And I could! I mean, come on… wouldn’t a hunky guy on my arm top it off? NO! I have exactly what I need right now, in this moment. Sappy? Yep. I’m feeling sappy this week! The change in me is wonderful… small, baby steps are happening every minute! I even bought a shirt yesterday that I would have NEVER worn before! It’s very cute, but it’s more flashy than I’m used to wearing. I’m used to hiding… to not wear anything that would draw attention to me… and now, I bought a shirt that I liked, no matter the color or design or what other people might think… And I bought super cute fish earrings that are way more dangly than I normally wear… But I rocked those earrings yesterday, and guess what??? I got A LOT of compliments! And I accepted those compliments! I’ve spent many, many years in therapy. I’ve had some horrible therapists and 2 amazing ones. But even though they are amazing therapists, they couldn’t get me to see this! They tried, oh Lord they tried… but it was up to me ALL THE TIME! I was expecting THEM to change ME! What a funny concept that is to me now. And maybe the change is that I’m in their chair now. I SEE my clients begging me to change them… and I know I can’t change them. I can sit with them through their journey. I can guide and facilitate change… but I cannot change them. That is hard, but I know that it won’t stick if I do it for them. OBVIOUSLY! Because look at me! I’m sure that my therapists wanted to scream at me sometimes… “LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE, LOOK AT HOW FAR YOU’VE COME, CAN’T YOU SEE!!!!!!” But it wouldn’t have helped because I DIDN’T see! I was blind to my own mental health and wellness. I’m not saying I won’t have “those days”… but honestly, after feeling good for 1 full week, I can’t imagine going back to the depressed, hermit I once was. What made this change? Therapy, Prozac, summer, being a therapist? Probably ALL of the above. I’m not ashamed of being in therapy (and I may still need it in the future, so I’m not discounting it now), I’m not ashamed of needing an anti-depressant for now (maybe forever), I’m not ashamed that I had a past that sucked. Today is a new day. So there is your sap. I know… me, sappy? Who would have thought? Oh, and on Thursday I cried. Yep, cried. A friend was leaning on me for support as his family struggled though some tough times… and I cried with him. And I wasn’t ashamed! It actually felt good, and it comforted my friend. So, thank you Michael Jackson for your song. Thank you N and J for your wisdom (even though I didn’t get any of it until now), thank you everyone for sticking by me even when I was a sad, lonely person. I’m going to change the world… but I’m starting with me.

“I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change”

P.S. I miss Parker but I’m dealing and internship is FABULOUS! I’ll write a Parker/internship update soon

Another school year almost over!

2011-05-23T19:26:00.001-06:00

Well, Another school year has come and gone (almost). It amazes me how fast time can fly! This school year was really challenging for me. Partly because of burnout, but partly because I started my internship and I got SUPER busy and stressed out. BUT, also because I realize that counseling is ALL I want to do… so going to work as a PSR worker seems lame compared to being a counselor! I have a FABULOUS boss though! He let me take 2 days off per week for the last month and a half. It really helped my stress level! I also ♥ the people I work with. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know if I would have survived the year! I really have a hard time believing that Friday is the last day! The kids are all getting antsy and bored and READY for summer… And so are the teachers! Parker has had a REALLY great 7th grade year. He has made a TON of friends and has gotten A’s and B’s the entire year! He has matured so much over this school year. He ~~annoys~~ amazes me daily! He is a teenager, and we have our struggles, but overall he is a really good boy.

On June 2nd my brother Chuck, his wife Sasha and their 2 girls Marisa and Rosie are coming from Albuquerque NM. My sister Kim and her boyfriend Coady and their girls Rebecca and Emily are coming too! It is going to be SO FUN! I hardly ever get to see my nieces and I miss them like crazy! Rosie is 2 1/2 and I’ve only seen her twice! I am so excited to take a billion pictures! It doesn’t feel like summer yet, but I’m hoping it warms up for when they are here. They aren’t used to the cold!

I will be taking the National Counselor’s Exam (NCE) in October. This exam is the big deal! If When I pass, I will be able to graduate and be licensed in December! I am SO excited! I can’t wait to have my Masters Degree!! This has been a LONG road, but SO WORTH it! Well, I guess I’ll go now. I just hadn’t blogged in awhile, so I thought I’d ~~brag~~ chat a bit.

I ♥ having summers off!!! All I will do this summer is intern, and I ♥♥♥ my internship!!!!!!

Sunday afternoon fun… What a goof!

What is a mother?

2011-05-08T20:42:00.001-06:00

What makes a mother? Am I a mother? Mother’s Day makes me think about this question. I have been Parker’s caregiver for 15 months. Most days I feel like a mom. I do everything I can to care for him and be there for him… but I am not his biological mother, or even his adoptive mother. I’m just Aunt Kendra. But I FEEL like a mother. Does that make me a mother? I don’t know, I’ve felt a little depressed today. I have an amazing mother. She has been there for me through good and bad. She supports me and cares for me. She is just the best! I have never really wanted to be a mother. I have those days, when I wish I had kids… but mostly I don’t want my own kids. But, when Parker came to live with me 15 moths ago my life changed dramatically. I became an instant caregiver/mom. Parker celebrated Mother’s Day with me. He gave me a foot rub and made me posters… He gave me pineapple in bed. So, for today I’m celebrating being a mother. I’m celebrating the fact that there is someone in my life that I care for more than myself. Someone I put before me. Okay, well that’s all I really had to say. I’m exhausted…. Life is busy. Blah. The end.

April has come and gone (almost)

2011-04-30T11:25:00.001-06:00

Parker is a little sports star! He played city basketball, and right now he is playing Babe Ruth baseball… And the coach is putting him on 2nd base and PITCHING! He has a lot of practices throughout the week, and he is doing really great! Pictures to come soon Because I work at the school district, I get to see Parker in action with friends and girls… One of my students is in his P.E. class, so I also get to see him be a superstar. His P.E. teacher tells me everyday that he is one of the most athletic kids in the class. He was PRO at volleyball, and wonderful at football. He is doing great at badminton too! In this photo Parker is posing with the 5th period football team champions. These girls want him on their team EVERYTIME they play! He is so cute and fun, how could the girls not love him? I love to snap pictures of him playing when he doesn’t know I’m watching…

These are some photos of him playing badminton in class.

Not very good action shots… but I only had my phone camera

Parker’s dad bought him some cowboy books online, and they arrived yesterday! Parker was stoked! He loves these boots and is SO excited to wear them!

Okay, okay enough about the ~~stinky~~ cute boy! Yesterday we got a pretty crappy spring snow. I vowed not to complain after watching the tornadoes in Alabama… so I’m not complaining… I just really wish Spring would come!

Parker would NEVER wear shorts last year… This year he decides he likes them, and wears them on the one day it snows! Crazy kid!

I got in my car yesterday and noticed this lovely crack. Grr. I blame the weather!

Between work and internship and Parker’s practices, and running around, we don’t get a lot of time to cuddle these days. Parker is such a great kid, and is so understanding of my crazy schedule. He knows I love him and I know he loves me. We cherish the few moments of silly play time! But I caught one good picture where we aren’t sticking our tongues out!

I love my internship, and I love that I’m SO close to being DONE! Thank you to everyone who makes my life easier! I can’t believe tomorrow is the first day of May!

Happy Birthday to Travis, and Easter Sunday

2011-04-24T18:30:00.001-06:00

Yesterday would have been Travis’ 35th birthday. It is crazy to me to think that he has been gone for almost 17 years. Time flies by so quickly. Days and weeks go by when I don’t think about Travis, but yesterday I was able to remember him and how much he is missed. Happy 35th Travis!

Last night Parker and I stayed at my mom’s house. Parker helped clean up sticks and garbage from the yard, so my mom took us to Ole’s (oh, lee’s), the new restaurant in Sugar City. We went home and played around for awhile, then Parker went to a friend’s house. My mom and I watched “For Colored Girls”. SADDEST movie EVER! Holy cow, it was awful! Then, we painted Easter eggs! It was a lot of fun! We went to bed so the Easter Bunny could come, and HE DID! He brought me and mom a Reese’s chocolate bunny and he brought Parker a LONG BOARD! Parker has been asking for one since the day he moved to Idaho. He also got 2 shirts. Parker’s mom got him a movie (Gulliver’s Travels, very cute!) and a belt, along with some candy. Parker found all 24 of the eggs the EB brought… he had a hard time though, that E. Bunny is tricky! Parker spent the day riding his long board. He LOVES IT! He is really good too! Then, mom made us a YUMMY roast and cooked carrots and mashed potatoes! It was SO MUCH FUN! Parker and I came home and started the laundry, vacuumed, and cleaned up a bit… Now Parker is watching Gulliver’s Travels again! He is hanging out with his cat, who we like to call California. FUN day!

Parker’s home!

2011-04-16T13:01:00.001-06:00

This cute cowboy is back home in Idaho. Friday was a very stressful day for me! I had an appointment at 10, so I knew I wouldn’t be leaving Idaho Falls until 11. That gave me PLENTY of time to get to the SLC airport by 3:45.. But I’m a stress cadet and I always want to be super early to everything. So, as I’m speeding through Salt Lake, I don’t notice the speed limit change from 75 MPH to 65 MPH. I had my cruise set, and I was flying. Well, the next thing I know, there are flashing lights. I was being pulled over for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! Holy smokes! I was so scared! The Utah Highway Patrol was SUPER nice though. He said the speed limit changed to 65 about a mile before he pulled me over… luckily my Idaho plates helped me play dumb… So, he didn’t give me a ticket. Just a stern warning to slow down. I drove 64 the rest of the way to the airport! I got in line at the airport to get my security pass to pick up Parker at the gate… only to realize I left my drivers license sitting on the passenger seat of my car. So, I had to walk ALL the way back to the parking lot, get my license, and walk back to the airport security line. Luckily the line through security wasn’t very long, and I didn’t get extra pat downs this time… so it was a quick process. Well, the lady at Delta told me Parker’s flight would be coming in to D5, so I get up there, and have 25 minutes to spare. I read my book and people watch, and realize a few minutes before the flight comes in that the sign on D5 says the flight is coming in from Nashville NOT Sacramento. So, I go to the nice people at D6 and they tell me his flight is coming into C4!! That meant I had about 2 minutes to book it… good think SLC airport isn’t as big as some of the others I’ve been in (Atlanta has train shuttles in their terminals!)…. I get there just in time for him to get off the plane. His dad had bought him a cowboy hat, so he was looking all cowboy cute when he got off the plane.

I promised Parker I would take him out to Sushi when he got back… So, I mapped out the directions to a sushi place in Salt Lake. After an hour of searching, we realized the place had closed down!!! So, we decided on a place called Simply Sushi. I am going to admit right now that I am NOT a huge fan of sushi… so I was a little worried that Parker would eat the sushi and I would have to stop off at Wendy’s or something for a burger But, Parker ordered some rolls that didn’t have raw fish in them, and they were actually pretty good! One of the veggie rolls had avocado, cucumber, mango, and cream cheese… Tasty stuff! It ended up being a FUN time! After sushi we headed home… 4 hours down and 4 hours back was NOT fun… but Parker and I giggled and laughed the WHOLE way home. We didn’t even really listen to music! We tried to have “straight face” contests, which was totally impossible!

Parker brings so much joy into my life. I don’t realize how attached I’ve become until he leaves for a week. I missed him so much! It is fun having him home. Princess went CRAZY when she saw him too.

Being cheesy

Colorado Roll (I think)

Park City Roll… this had cooked salmon, jalapeno cream cheese and avocado. YUM YUM. Who knew I would like sushi?

Not so Spring… Break…

2011-04-12T10:53:00.001-06:00

Last month Parker’s dad bought him a plane ticket to California for Spring Break. Parker decided he wanted to keep it a secret surprise from his mom and sisters. It was REALLY hard for him to keep this secret! He was SO excited to see his family! He hadn’t seen his mom and dad since summer, so it was a LONG time waiting! His flight was scheduled for Friday at 4:45, so we decided to leave to Utah Thursday after school so we could have a mini-vacation in Utah. We got a hotel room in Salt Lake and went to the Living Planet Aquarium. It is a little aquarium, but it was a lot of fun! The pictures are pretty blurry because it’s hard taking pictures of moving animals in the dark . After the aquarium it was raining like CRAZY, so we decided to walk around the mall for awhile since we weren’t hungry for dinner yet. We had fun looking in all the stores since the Idaho Falls mall is so lame! After the mall we went to Chili’s for dinner. When we had checked in at the hotel we found out the hotel had an indoor heated pool. We didn’t know that, so we didn’t bring swimsuits. Parker LOVES the water, so I decided to go to Target to buy him some swim trunks. After dinner we went down to the pool. It was completely empty, so Parker got to swim the whole pool! I soaked my feet in the hot tub and read my book while he swam. It was SO relaxing! After swimming we went to the soda machine and bought a pop. We tried to buy a Kit Kat, but it ate our money . We watched TV and fell asleep! Parker had a HARD time sleeping because he was SO excited! When we woke up Parker went down to get us some bagels from the complimentary breakfast. He saw the pool was open, and since we had time he went swimming again. We went to Denny’s for breakfast and realized we had a lot of time to spare before going to the airport. Parker had been really fascinated with the state capitol building and the Salt Lake Temple. We decided to take a little tour. It was raining and snowing like crazy, but it was still a lot of fun! Parker loved driving around downtown. We didn’t even get lost! We headed to the airport, got our security passes, and headed up to the gate. We got the airport REALLY early, even though we blew a lot of time downtown. We got a soda and found our gate. Parker had his little netbook, so he watched some movies on Netflix. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses and put him on the plane!

After Parker’s plane took off I headed down to Pleasant Grove to spend the weekend with Lori. I LOVE hanging out at Lori’s house. Lori’s older kids are all moved out and on their own, but her little boys are still around. Hunter is 8 and just got baptized. Morgan is 6 and is a total hoot. Last time I visited, Morgan was still a little shy with me… but this time he wasn’t shy at all. It was SO fun! On Saturday Lori had a couple errands to run, so I stayed home and played with Hunter and Morgan. We played Mini-golf, bowling, tennis, and Pokemon on the Wii! When Lori got home we took the boys to a birthday party. Lori and I had several hours to ourselves to just TALK. We had so much to catch up on! Lori showed me how to make Taco Soup and I watched her make her famous homemade bread. MMM… Warm bread out of the oven is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!!!!! When the boys got home they wanted me to play hide-n-seek with them. Morgan was the BEST and made me laugh for hours! I told him I would count to 100 then come find him… he would go hide, and then yell “I’m ready” from wherever he was hiding! I didn’t have the heart to explain to him that he was giving himself away…. so I would look everywhere, then find him. It was SO fun. After hide-n-seek we played tag and chase and tickle wars. I was worn out! On Sunday Lori and her family went to church while I slept in When they came home I helped Lori get dinner ready. Her older kids were coming for Sunday dinner, so Lori made a roast. Treavor’s girlfriend was bringing the potatoes, so we focused on making the salad and cutting up all the fruit. Who knew watermelon would taste so good in April! Morgan helped cut up the cantaloupe and watermelon and did such a good job!

After everyone left Lori and I played Qwirkle with Morgan. What a fun game! Hunter made me his famous dessert (SO FUNNY!) It was cut up banana in the bottom of the bowl and then cut up strawberries around the banana. He said, "it’s healthy and delicious!” I told him I needed the recipe! He was SO cute and pestered his mom for hours about writing down his recipe. I’ve decided to call it “Hunter’s healthy banana-strawberry extravaganza”! It was very tasty. Hunter and Morgan were so sad that I had to leave Monday morning. They are on Spring Break all week as well, and wished I could stay and play all week. I wished I could too! I had SO much fun. I could go on and on about this trip. I was able to talk and talk and talk to Lori. I was able to talk with David, which was so nice. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to David much since his illness. Although David is very different mentally, he is still such a great friend to me. I just love these guys and I didn’t take ANY PICTURES I’m so sad about that! I have to head back to Salt Lake on Friday to pick Parker back up from the airport. I have missed Parker so much since he’s been gone! He would have had so much fun at Lori’s! I have to get back to internship on Wednesday, with new clients I am super busy and I LOVE it!!!

Here are some pictures… sorry for the long post

He’s so handsome

Teenagers, updates, graduate school, and the new cat…

2011-03-26T21:59:00.001-06:00

I haven’t written in awhile! I have been wayyy too busy! Parker is a great kid, and quite responsible for being 13… However last night he showed his true teenage colors I had planned to go out to dinner and a movie with some friends. Parker planned to be home to cook himself some dinner, then his friend’s parents were going to pick him up for a sleepover. He’s made himself Macoroni and Cheese a bunch of times, I didn’t worry at all. He called while I was in the movie, so I text him to let him know I was in the movie and I’d call him after. Well, instead of him sending me a “checking in” text….. he sent me a text saying he forgot about the mac and cheese on the stove and went to his sleepover. A hour or so later he remembered and FREAKED OUT! His friend’s sister drove him home to help take care of the problem. The smoke alarms were going off, and I can imagine utter chaos. Parker was very, very upset. He and his friend and his friend’s sister cleaned up best they could (luckily the neighbors didn’t hear the alarms!). I text Parker back that it was okay, and to enjoy his sleepover. Throughout the movie I was a little stressed, but thought it was a little bit comical. I came home from dinner and a movie and walked into a house that smelled like burnt noodles! He did a pretty good job cleaning up, but the pan is toast (literally). Parker is still pretty upset about the incident. He feels SO bad and offered to buy a new pan out of his allowance. He is such a great kid, I couldn’t even be mad. I think his guilt was consequence enough!

Well, I’ve finished another semester of graduate school. I am DONE with “book work” and for the next 8 months I will intern. In December I will receive my Master’s Degree in mental health counseling. I CAN’T WAIT! I’m busy, and tired, and stressed… but it will all be worth it in December!

A lady I work with is going to be moving soon, and offered us her cat. She is declawed and fixed and everything. Parker has wanted his “own” cat forever. We’ve tried to have kittens, but they are always too destructive. Because this cat is a little older, we hope it works out. She is super shy, and has mostly hidden under Parker’s bed. She hasn’t eaten, so I put the food under his bed, and she did munch a little. Princess wants to play with her, but she doesn’t quite understand it. Princess snuck under the bed and stole some food. The cat (Calli) hissed at Princess and Princess just looked at her like, “What, me?? What did I do?” Princess is used to my mom’s cats, who play with her no problem… so she is a little confused. But we are happy to have another member in our family.

Parker is doing FABULOUS in school. He ended 2nd tri with ALL A’s and B’s. This trimester he is enjoying PE and math (shocker!) He is going to California for spring break, and can’t wait!

I can’t wait for WARM WEATHER!!!!! I’m SO sick of snow!

I don’t have any pictures for this post…. but, I will next time!

525,600 Minutes

2011-03-05T11:01:00.001-07:00

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes, Five hundred twenty-five thousand Moments so dear. Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights In cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes How do you measure A year in the life? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.

MarchMarch

March

April

May

June

July

August

August (first day of 7th)October

November

NovemberNovember

November/Thanksgiving

November 29th, decorating for Christmas

Christmas card photo

December

Christmas concert

December/talent show

January

February

Today, March 5, 2011

30??

2011-02-27T15:20:00.001-07:00

So, today I was reading back through my blog. I looked back at some of my first posts and laughed at myself. One that stuck out was a list of things I wanted to do before I was 30. Back then 30 seemed really far away… but this summer I will turn 29. I guess 30 isn’t so far away anymore. I have to laugh at some of my goals…

Here they are:

1) Go to Africa to work in an orphanage. (Well, this definitely won’t happen by August 11, 2012)
2) Learn a foreign language. (I guess I could still try to do this… hmmm… Maybe)
3) Own a Mustang (Car not horse) (HA, yeah right… unless I win the lottery!)
4) Have my Master's Degree. (YES, I will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!)
5) Run a marathon (I HOPE SO!)
6) Live on my own (hahahaha, sad that that made the list) (YESS, It happened. LOL)
7) Have more than 127 dollars in my savings account. (nope, still hasn’t happened. I hope by 2012 it will)
8) Go on a cruise (conquer my fear of the ocean) (Maybe)
9) Finish my book. (Ha, well… maybe)
10) "quit" therapy. (Yep, I sure did!)

11) Skydive (We’ll see.)

12) Visit every state in the US (Doubtful)

Well, that’s my list. 30 isn’t so far away. Let’s see what I accomplish in the next year and a half!

Personally speaking

2011-02-25T14:50:00.001-07:00

I don’t tend to talk a lot about my personal life on here. It isn’t because I don’t want to… but it’s hard to put into words some of the things I want to say or write. Life has gotten pretty stressful for me. When I got my paycheck on the 20th and realized how small it was I kind of panicked. I knew it was going to be short, I mean, I have to take a day off every week for this internship thing… but it was still a shock. Work has been really crazy lately. A student that I spent more than half of my day with was pulled out of school to be homeschooled. This all happened over a week ago. Then today, the school psychologist informed me that the other student I was trying to qualify probably WOULDN’T qualify. So, I’ve been a bum at work. I only have 2 clients right now, at 1 hour each. So, after 2 hours I’m done. I’ve tried to stay busy, but it’s pretty hard to pull stuff to do out of a hat. Because of this lack of work, I feel I’m starting to be viewed as a slacker. I HATE that feeling. I’m NOT a slacker. Trust me, I would rather have my day full of things to do! But, the special ed teacher does have some students to qualify for PSR, so I hope it all works out SOON. I hate feeling worthless at work. I want to go to work feeling productive, but lately I have to force myself to even get out of bed.

My internship is going really well. My supervisor is really knowledgeable and has been teaching me a TON! 2 of my clients cancelled their appointments this week, so that was kind of stressful. I have to have 100 hours by March 18th. Right now I’m at 60. I am worried about money and hours when April starts… because then I will need 300 hours in 3 months instead of 100. I know it will work out… I just have to make it through until December, then I’ll be DONE!!

Parker is doing really well. Basketball is almost over (thankfully)! He has LOVED playing, and has become really close with his teammates (well, all but 2). He’ll finish up just in time to sign up for baseball. I feel like we are always running somewhere, busy doing something. He is doing A LOT better this trimester in school. The trimester ends on the 6th, and I think he might finish on the honor roll… that is if he can' bring his health grade up a bit. He has really struggled in health for some reason.

I chopped my hair off. When I made the appointment I thought I was just going to get a trim… but when I got there I just wanted it all chopped off! I really like the cut, it’s just hard to get used to I’ve started walking on the treadmill again. I did 1 mile in 21 minutes on Wednesday, then 1 mile in 19.57 on Thursday. The times aren’t great, but I felt good after. I know I should do more than 1 mile, but I have to start somewhere. I hope to do a mile tonight too, but I’m going to dinner with a friends, so I may not have time. I’m just trying to be a more healthy person. I want to set a good example for Parker, and so far I haven’t been great at doing that. Fast food is so much easier when we have so much going on… but I’ve been cooking a lot more often, and a lot more healthy. Last night we had really tasty chicken wraps on tomato basil wraps. MMM.

I’ve been a little melancholy lately. I don’t know if it’s because I went off my sleeping pills or what? The sleeping pills were an old school anti-depressant, so maybe they were helping me out a little more than just sleep?

Well, that’s me.

Time flies!

2011-02-20T17:05:00.001-07:00

I can’t believe I’m going into my 7th week of internship! Time is flying by faster than I ever thought possible! I always knew I wanted to be a therapist, but now I know more than ever that I’m doing the right thing with my life. I look forward to Wednesday’s… and wish that I could intern EVERYDAY! I wish I had unlimited money so I didn’t need a job to support me through this time. But, I don’t… such is life! Although I like my job at the school, it definitely isn’t want I want to do for the rest of my life. I know now more than ever that I haven’t wasted any time in school. I would hate to get to this point only to not want to be a therapist!

Nothing new really happens other than work, internship, Parker’s basketball practices and games, cleaning, cooking, and driving… I just thought I’d update my blog background to represent my love for Princess. Plus, someone I blog-stalk had the same background as me and it freaked me out. LOL

Happy day off tomorrow!

Love is…

2011-02-13T14:39:00.001-07:00

Love is:

♥ Happy ~~Valentine’s~~ Singles Awareness Day everyone ♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-02-09T19:45:00.001-07:00

Yep, February is pretty sweet this year! I love my internship! It is so great to put all my “book work” experience into actual experience! Sometimes it is stressful, but most of all I love it! My supervisor is great and teaches me SO much! I can’t believe it’s been 5 weeks already! Time is flying by! I am feeling much more confident in myself as a therapist. There are definitely ^highs and _lowsbut overall it is great!

Parker made me dinner tonight. So that was AMAZING! He is such a great kid and I ♥ him like crazy His grades are improving more and more everyday! He is very smart and respectful and basically awesome!

Um, well… not much is really new. I know that’s surprising… but yeah. Parker is still loving basketball and is sad ski school is over. Princess still loves chicken treats. It’s still colder than… I don’t know what… but COLD. I’m really sick of cold, therefore I changed my blog background to a springy theme I think that will help!

So, I hope y’all are having a great February!

P.S. Aren’t Biggest Loser and American Idol SO great this season?

Something I ♥

2011-02-03T19:55:00.001-07:00

Okay, I told you I was going to work on this lovin’ February thing… So, today (and everyday) I love being a therapist! I have been in school forever, so it’s nice to know that I love what I do… It would really suck to start practicing and hate it! But, I ♥♥♥♥♥ it! I intern for 8-10 hours on Wednesdays. It’s a long day, but it is so rewarding! I love putting what I’ve learned into practice. It is honestly the best job EVER and I can’t wait to do this EVERYDAY for the rest of my life. So, yay!

Here are some fun cartoons. I especially like the 2-for-1 Wednesday’s cartoon. LOL

So far, loving February 2011

♥

A hard month

2011-02-01T21:25:00.001-07:00

February is a hard month for me. Not only is it the month of Valentine’s Day (which isn’t any fun when you are single), but there is a bunch of other anniversary type days this month. February 18, 2000 I married my high school sweetheart. I don’t think anyone gets married thinking they will divorce, I know I didn’t. Bronson was honestly the greatest guy while we were dating. He was respectful and caring and giving. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. After 4 years of marriage we divorced (for yucky reasons). February 18th this year would be our 11 year anniversary. Even though we’ve been divorced 7 years, its hard. Should it be? I don’t know, but it is. It gets easier every year. I don’t regret the divorce. I don’t love Bronson anymore. But I miss being married. I miss having a companion. I miss cuddling, kissing, traveling, talking, and the consistency and support from a man. 17 was too young to get married!

February 29, 2000 my dad died from a heart attack. I had been married 9 days. I grew up with a sick dad. When I was 7 he had a triple bypass surgery and told him he would probably only live 3-4 more years. I got 10. I am grateful I had my dad as long as I did. 17 is too young to lose a dad. 11 years has passed, but I continue to miss him everyday. I wish he could see me now, the successful me. I think the hardest part is knowing that one of the last things my dad said to me was, “you will get married over my dead body”. I know I didn’t kill my dad (after years of therapy), but it is a hard pill to swallow, knowing how disappointed my dad was in me. I wish he could see the woman I have become. I wish he could know his grandkids. It is hard not having a definite faith in God and an afterlife. I do know that my dad suffered. He was in pain and sick for many, many years. He has to be pain free now, wherever he is.

Me and my dad on my wedding day. I look like a teenage boy! Isn’t my dad so cute

Miss you daddy.

So this February I’m going to try to think of all the great things in my life. Sometimes it gets too easy for me to wallow in my sadness. I don’t want to be sad anymore… I want to wake up knowing that I have things to live for, things that make me happy, things I love. So, of course the first thing I love is Parker. This kid has made me realize how great motherhood is. He is a goofy kid, but he is so smart and respectful and fun! Just last night we were eating out (our weekly date). The waitress commented on how mature he seems for his age. He goes out of his way to make sure I’m happy and healthy (he’s checked my temperature like 100 times since I’ve been sick). I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since he moved to Idaho to live with me! Time flies!

Isn’t he handsome?

♥ Happy February ♥

Emergency room adventure

2011-01-30T00:37:00.001-07:00

I’m going to have to say that Parker is a delight to live with 98% of the time. I figure this is pretty good considering some horror stories I’ve heard. We have a lot of fun together… Take for instance yesterday: we played catch in the hallway for about 2 hours. We just talked and laughed. It was great! Well, tonight landed in the 2% of the time that it isn’t so delightful. Parker was bored… it was about 9:00 PM, so it wasn’t like he could go out and play… so, he decided he would put together the fishing pole he got for his birthday (in July). He was going along fine until a fish hook got stuck in his shorts. In order to get the hook out, I had to cut the shorts….. So, now I’m going to have to buy new basketball shorts. Just after I got the hook out of the shorts, he informs me another hook is stuck in his fuzzy blanket. So, he brings the blanket out and I get to work. I really didn’t want to ruin his blanket, so I was trying to pull the hook through the fabric……. well, the hook went from the blanket to my finger. It didn’t hurt or bleed, but it was definitely stuck. So, I calmly called Parker to the living room. I say, “Don’t freak out, but the hook is in my finger”. Well, he freaked out a little. I told him it didn’t hurt but we would have to go to the ER to get it out. So, I calmly drive us to the hospital. The doctor comes in and shoots my finger up with the numbing stuff. The needle was HUGE and it hurt worse than the hook. Parker almost passed out watching it!! The nurse gave me a tetanus (sp?) shot, which didn’t hurt at all. My finger got numb and the doctor was able to pull the hook out….. 45 minutes is all it took! They bandaged me up and I was good to go. My finger is still numb, and typing is hard, but I’ll live. Life is ALWAYS an adventure when Parker is around He did feel really bad, so I was a lot braver than I may have been otherwise! And I had to cut the blanket after all that!!!

Not a pretty picture!!!

Ouch!!! The green stuff is part of the blanket that I ended up having to cut anyway!

All better! Yellow bumblebees to help me feel better!

Us about 30 minutes before the incident

I ♥ being a therapist and some lists

2011-01-27T17:46:00.001-07:00

Yes, I do! I was so nervous starting my internship on the 10th… but now I just have to say that I love it! I look forward to Wednesdays when I can head down to Idaho Falls and intern ALL DAY! It is a long day, but I don’t care! I have 6 clients! It is the most rewarding job I’ve ever had! It is better than I could have ever imagined… no joke! I abhor my integrative project class. I HATE research. I know I shouldn’t say this… but I do. I’m just trucking through it… then I’ll be done with research classes FOREVER!

Parker is doing great! I went to parent-teacher conferences tonight, and all of his teachers said they LOVE him. They all said he is so polite and respectful. That makes me happy! His grades are REALLY good this trimester! He has raised his language arts grade from a C- (in the 1st tri) to an A-! He is struggling a little in health, but mainly because the tests are crazy hard! Some of his favorite things right now: Slip-on Blue Vans with fake shoe laces, Halo Reach on the Xbox, playing Nerf guns with his 3 besties, shooting me with Nerf bullets, me reading to him every night, BASKETBALL, skinny jeans, Axe spray (ugh), hairspray, Magic (card game), Ski school (actually snowboarding school), Steak, Kit Kats, Cranberry juice, Fruit Loops, cute girls, his plaid DC hat, earning money, going to the the dollar movie, watching comedians on Netflix, watching movies over and over and over and over again.

Some of my favorite things right now: Being a therapist (duh), Diet Coke, What Not to Wear, Biggest Loser, taking pictures, sleep, my cute doggy, Sun Chips, talking to my mom, cute earrings, easy to cook meals, my Blackberry, reading to Parker, seeing Parker’s good grades, tax refunds, last QUARTER of book work classes, straightening my hair, blog stalking, and writing lists

Things Princess loves right now: Chicken treats, snuggles, warm blankets, lucky charms (I know, I know), cheese, clothes, Jack (the neighbor’s boy dog), Parker, running around like crazy, and sleeping.

So, that’s about all…

Life is getting busy!

2011-01-08T18:00:00.001-07:00

The new year has already started out with a bang! I can’t help but reflect on the past 28 years of my life. Spending many years as a pessimist jaded my view of life, but as I grow and learn I realize that life is wonderful. As I break free from past traumas, depression, and anger, I feel nothing but hope for the future. My counseling internship officially starts on Monday (even though I’ve done some work beforehand). I CANNOT believe I have made it to this point in my education. I never thought I would make it this far. As I counsel clients I will be able to use not only my extensive education, but my past experiences in therapy. I will be able to understand the client’s apprehension and fear of talking to a stranger. I feel so ready for this internship (nervous, but ready). I know I have a lot more learning to do! But, with my amazing internship supervisor, Scott, I believe I will get the best experience possible.

When I look at my calendar for the next month I get a little freaked out. My life is going to be extremely busy and packed full of school, work, clients, Parker, Parker’s activities, etc. All I can do is try to make the next 9 months go by as smooth as possible! I am so grateful to work in the school district. I am blessed with amazing co-workers and an extremely understanding and respectful boss/principal. I have so much support from my family, friends, co-workers, and classmates it is unreal! So, this may be my last blog post in awhile, because… well, I don’t know that I’ll have time to write much.

So, let me tell you what’s new, besides my internship!

Parker did not make the Jr. High basketball team. He was pretty sad about it, but he has such a great attitude. Luckily, one of his friend’s dads is the coach of a community league. So, Parker is playing on his friend’s community team. He LOVES it. There are 7 kids on his team and they will have games pretty much every Saturday. He is learning to practice hard and to put the important stuff first (homework). I picked up his community basketball shirt yesterday, and he was really pumped. I’ll try to remember to take photos of his first game!

Parker is also taking ski school! He decided he would rather learn to snowboard than ski, so that is what he did. Yesterday was his first day (they go for the next 4 Friday’s). They take a class for about an hour, then they get to practice and free ski for about 2 hours! Parker came home and said he LOVED it! He had so much fun, and he even tried the ski lift on his first day! He said he fell quite a few times, but he just got right back up! The only thing he didn’t like was getting thrown up on. On the way home from ski school a girl got car sick and threw up all over him. He was pretty disgusted! But, he was a good sport about it and we washed all his clothes when he got home! He can’t wait until next Friday!

Parker is doing REALLY well in school this trimester. He has really amazing teachers that are helping him tremendously! He hasn’t even “faked” sick once this trimester I love being able to work at the Jr. High. I love seeing Parker with all of his friends. It makes me happy to see him get along with everyone!

As for me, all that is new is school. I will be taking my final class along with my first quarter of internship. The final class is called Integrative Project. Basically, I have to write one final HUGE paper. I’m nervous, mainly because it’s a lot of work. I just hope I can stay healthy for the next 9 months (kinda feels like I should have a baby at the end… but maybe a Master’s degree is my baby) Last week I went to the doctor because I was quite sick. He found that I had burst my eardrum, and I had strep throat. With some antibiotics I’m feeling much better. I’m just trying to keep a positive attitude about everything!

Well, that’s all. Life is going to get busy! Between work, school, internship, homework (mine and Parker’s), basketball, snowboarding, sleeping, Princess time, etc… Life is going to be crazy! I hope it makes time fly! I can’t wait until I have my Master’s degree!!! December 2011 can’t come soon enough!

2011 New Year’s Resolutions

2010-12-30T14:10:00.001-07:00

I RESOLVE

Well, it’s that time again. I honestly cannot believe how fast 2010 flew by! At the end of 2009 I hoped 2010 would be FAR better than 2000… And guess what? IT WAS! Although I didn’t do everything I wanted in 2010, I accomplished a lot! Besides work and play and school, I got the opportunity to bring Parker to Idaho. Although becoming an insta-mom was HARD, it has also be extremely rewarding. Parker has brought so much into my life. He’s taught me how to love more deeply. He’s taught me the importance of play and imagination. He’s taught me kids really are hard work! Although I don’t want children of my own (long story), I now feel like a mother. I feel the ache when he is disappointed and hurt and I feel the joy when he succeeds. 2010 has been a great success!!

2011 resolutions!

1. Graduate with my MASTER’S DEGREE!

2. Pay off debt (and cut up credit cards!)

3. Take Parker to Yellowstone and other fun Idaho places

4. Be more active

5. Stick to my monthly budget

6. Journal once a week

7. Take another photography class

8. Start a savings account (to buy a house!)

9. Run a mile (the whole mile)

10. LOVE LIFE and BE HAPPY!

This year in pictures…

2010-12-29T09:48:00.001-07:00

This year was very exciting and new!

We adopted Spooky.

Beautiful weather.

A STUPID guy hit my car in the parking lot!

I DID NOT get these for Valentine’s Day…

I took a photography class!

Parker moved in with me… and I became an instant mom!

I took LOTS of pictures!

We went to Albuquerque for Easter and I met my niece Rosie Lyn for the first time!

Parker graduated from DARE!

Parker and I moved into an apartment!

We went to California for Emily’s 8th grade promotion.

Emily and Rebecca came to Sugar City for a visit.

We took Parker to Mesa Falls and Warm River

Parker got glasses!

For some reason I can’t find the pictures of Parker’s baseball team… but he played baseball

Parker turned 13!

We got VIP tickets to the Blue Angels Air Show

Parker started 7th grade.

I went to Phoenix for my FINAL residency!

Parker was a vampire for Halloween

Parker’s first choir concert

Parker made a pyramid for social studies

My internship site was approved!

Parker had a Christmas concert

We had a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Last year’s resolutions

2010-12-28T09:15:00.001-07:00

Before I reveal this year’s resolutions… lets take a look back on my 2009 resolutions!

1. Volunteer. Um. I did not.

2. Be more positive! I’m going to say… 50% on this one…

3. Be more active. Another 50% here.

4. Eat more vegetables! 80%… Good thing Parker LOVES corn and peas!

5. Less procrastination!! haha…. 10%?

6. Be more responsible with my money! 1.25%…. just to be generous to myself…

7. Finish therapy. YESSSSSS 110% YES!!! Hallelujah!!

8. Get more in touch with my spirituality. This is a work in progress.

9. Journal more. I think I journaled LESSS! Oops!

10. Be less OCD. LOL. The meds are helping

Stay tuned for my awesome 2010 resolutions!!!!!!!!! Can’t believe it’s going to be 2011!!! Time FLIES!

Wow… time flies!

2010-12-13T20:43:00.001-07:00

I have been very neglectful of this blog! Time has just been flying by and I haven’t had any spare moments to write. I know, excuses, excuses…

Well, the Christmas season is here! I have had so much fun having Parker here to celebrate the holidays. We spent a week at my mom’s house for Thanksgiving! We helped her put up her Christmas tree and her outside lights. My mom and I black Friday shopped… and since then it’s been a blur! With school and work and Parker’s school and activities we have had no time. I finished my classwork 5 days early so Parker and I could enjoy the holiday more. Tonight we made sugar cookies with my mom. It was SO much fun! We took plates of cookies to Parker’s friends and a few families in the neighborhood. The cookies turned out quite tasty! I thought about using a pre-made mix… but then I decided that wouldn’t be much fun Tomorrow Parker has an appointment, then after that I am going to take him to see Megamind 3D at the cheap theater. Parker has a choir concert on Thursday night and Friday I have to have a tooth pulled The week is going to fly by, I can already tell!

Another thing we did is make Christmas cards. Parker made homemade cards for all of his California family. They turned out really cute!

Parker has been working out with the Wii fit… He was proud that he ran 4.75 miles in 30 minutes! He has had fun trying to beat his time. Parker has been getting 1 card a day from his mom and sisters. We’ve hung them all on the wall. I think this is a stinking cute picture. Inside every card is a dollar and a “give card” where he has to give something (like chores or service). It has been really fun!These pictures turned out a little blurry. I tried to get Princess in the picture but she was being a pain like usual! Me and my mom!Parker and his grammy The finished product!

Parker is SOOO excited for Christmas… and, well… So am I

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Cricut awesomeness

2010-11-28T19:58:00.001-07:00

On Black Friday I went shopping with my mom. We didn’t go super early… there wasn’t anything we wanted to wait in line for. We got to Wal-Mart at about 5:30 AM. It was fun. I got some great deals… which I can’t really talk about because, well, Parker might read this Parker really wanted to go Black Friday shopping, so my mom and I took him a little bit later in the afternoon. He got a few things for his sisters and his mom. I decided I would buy a Cricut. I have wanted one FOREVER, but I’ve never wanted to pay for one… they are quite pricy. Well, I got a great deal on Friday. So I decided I would finally buy one. I ♥ it! I have used the Cricut at work, but I haven’t really been able to play with it much… so one of my own is AWESOME. Between homework, housework, and family time I haven’t had much time to play with it… but this is some stuff I’ve made. Just a simple Merry Christmas that is about 3”.

Parker and I save our money in a “Tiki Punch” bottle.

It looked something like this (except in 2 liter bottle form)… Nothing fun or exciting, but it works as a piggy bank. Well, with the Cricut I changed it up a bit A pink pig, and the word Playtime, then the money symbol.

Then, I made this cute Princess sign.

More Cricut awesomeness to come

Internship

2010-11-18T20:42:00.001-07:00

I has one!

More details to come… soon.

Parker will be singing in the school talent show on Tuesday. He is SO excited! I’ll post a video afterward so everyone can see how awesome his voice is

Today was a HORRIBLE day at work… I DON’T like when 12 year olds bite me!

The end.

TWLOHA

2010-11-12T20:10:00.001-07:00

http://www.twloha.com/index.php

To Write Love on Her Arms is a movement. It helps people who suffer from depression, self-injury, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and other mental health issues. I found this movement at a very tough time in my life. I have struggled with self-injury and depression all of my life. But I’m learning to create my own story. Today I write love on my arms for my brother Travis who was taken by mental illness. Today I write love on my arms for my Aunt Etta Mae who lost her life in the struggle with depression. I write love on my arms for all those who are fighting the war with mental illness. I write love on my arm for the success of being free from self-injury for 2 years. I write love on my arms for the helpers. For N and J who taught me how to help myself, how to live for myself, and how to accept myself. I write love on my arms for my mom who accepts me regardless of my past or future. I write love on my arms for Parker, who has taught me so much over the past 8 months. I write love on my arms for a fellow blogger who lost her daughter to miscarriage. I write love on my arms for my living brother and sister. I write love on my arms for my nieces Rebecca, Emily, Marisa, and Rosie.

LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT!

November 9, 2010

2010-11-09T20:04:00.001-07:00

Today I am thankful for a safe car. I don’t like the snow. Actually, I do like the snow… I like it in the mountains. I like to look at it on Christmas morning. I HATE driving in it and I HATE walking in it. I don’t like ice and I hate scraping my windows. I know this doesn’t sound very thankful… but I am THANKFUL I have a car that has a great heater and is safe on ice and snow. It’s a pretty darn cute car too

Love you Big Red

A little behind on thanks

2010-11-08T19:34:00.001-07:00

Well, I’m a little behind on this thanks stuff. So, Here I go.

I am thankful for my freedom. I am thankful that I can get an education and have a job and do the things I dream to do. I live in an amazing country where there are so many young and old that fight for me. I have the freedom to speak my mind and love who I want to love. It’s amazing!!!

I am thankful for my job. Okay, so I know some days it may not seem like I like my job… but I do. I am so thankful to have a boss and co-workers who really care about me. I love working with kids and I am so blessed to work in such a great community.

I am thankful for my cute apartment. I am thankful I have a great place to live, that is safe and affordable. My downstairs neighbors kinda stink, but it’s a great place! I have enjoyed having my own place, even though I miss living with my mom

I am thankful for my dog. She is SO cute She is the best friend ever! She cuddles me and loves me no matter what!

Another day of thanks

2010-11-04T20:14:00.001-06:00

Today, November 4, 2010 I am thankful for Technology. My niece Rebecca turned 16 today. She lives in California, and I’m not rich… therefore I could not see her. At 7:30 this morning Parker and I called Rebecca and sang. I began to think about technology and how awesome it is. I can use a phone to call California. Really? Have you thought about HOW COOL that is? I could call China if I wanted! Also, I set up Skype the other day. It is my hope that my whole family will get set up. My mom already did, and although she is only 3 blocks away from me, we have tested it out a few times. You can use the Internet to talk to people! This computer, this Internet, this technology can help me see the faces of my family whenever I want! I can drive a car wherever I want! I can watch TV, I can even PAUSE live TV! I can get my masters degree ONLINE! Peeps, this is cool! I am all for technology! And look at this, I’m blogging… online… Yep, I ♥ technology!

November 2nd & 3rd

2010-11-03T19:15:00.001-06:00

Okay, I hate to admit this, but I have been in a horrible mood… and I’ve had a hard time thinking of things I’m grateful for. So, I’m making up for yesterday and doing 2 days worth of thanks.

I am thankful for my many, many friends. I am not a super social person, I never have been. But, the friends I have made have been the best! When I first moved to Springville, UT when I was about 9, I made some amazing friends… and to be honest, I still consider them my best friends. Although we have gone different ways, we keep in touch as much as we can. Facebook has helped me stay in touch with these friends. During college, I made some very dear friends. Friends that know ALL of me. Since moving to Idaho I have made several good friends. It is sometimes difficult for me to open up and make friends, but I have made some. I love having people in my life that know me and love me for who I am.

I am thankful for the opportunity to get an education. School wasn’t always important to me. High school was kinda horrible. Going to college made me a better person. Although I complain about graduate school, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to get my Master’s degree. I can’t wait to be a therapist, to do what I really want to do in life.

I’m grumpy peeps, so this is short, but I am very thankful for all of you!

Parker had a choir concert tonight… Isn’t he cute all dressed up :P

Giving Thanks

2010-11-01T19:05:00.001-06:00

Some days it is hard to be thankful. I know that probably sounds awful… but it’s true. I have become so discouraged with finding internship sites that it has kind of taken over my life. Realizing today is November 1st, I am reminded of Thanksgiving and what that means. It’s easy to forget what these winter holidays are about, so I want to do everything I can to remember. Sometimes writing a blog seems lame. I don’t really know what to talk about and how personal to get… but I decided to write about something I am thankful for everyday of November.

November 1, 2010 – Monday

Family

I am so, so thankful for my family. My life hasn’t always been easy, but my family is ALWAYS there for me. I have a very small family compared to some. On my mom’s side I don’t have any living aunts. My dad passed away 11 years ago. My brother Travis passed away 16 years ago. All I have is my mom, my brother Chuck, and my sister Kim. Luckily, I have 4 amazing nieces (Rebecca, Emily, Marisa, and Rosie) and 1 amazing nephew/son (Parker). I have 6 1st cousins, 15 2nd cousins and 1 third cousin. That’s it. My small family has to be close, and luckily we are. My mom and I are SO close. In my adult life we have become more like best friends than mother-daughter. When I’m bored, I call my mom before I call any friends. Some people enjoy their adult freedom (away from their parents). I don’t. I want to see my mom everyday. I hate that my sister and her daughters live in California. I hate that my brother and his family lives in New Mexico. I want to see them everyday. I am SO grateful for my family. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life.

Thank you family. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you!

Chuck’s family Parker, Marisa, Emily, Rebecca and Rosie

Me and Parker Kim and family Me, mom and Princess Me, Emily, Parker and Rebecca Rosie

Internships

2010-10-27T19:57:00.001-06:00

I am registered to start my internship in January. Since last week I have called and e-mailed over 50 sites and I can’t find ANYTHING! I have left a lot of messages and gotten a lot of no’s. I am SO frustrated! I honestly didn’t think it would be this hard. I just want to find a great placement where I get great experience… but I’m not picky either. I don’t know what to do! My application is due November 15th. How am I going to find a placement and get the application in by then?

SUGGESTIONS?????????????

My dog

2010-10-23T23:18:00.001-06:00

Until I adopted Princess, I never really had a dog of my own. When I was 5 I begged my dad to get me a cat. Because I was spoiled, he gave in. That is when we got “Cuddles”. Cuddles was NOT cuddly… He was a big mean Tom cat… but I loved him. When we moved to Utah he ran away. We did have a dog named Scottie for a very short time, but I don’t remember him… and I SWEAR we had dogs named Salt and Pepper, but my mom tells me they must have been imaginary :). When I was married Bronson and I adopted a yellow lab we named Egypt. She was a crazy dog! She was a puppy and wild and really hard to train. Bronson got very frustrated with her, and wasn’t very nice to her… so we gave her up for adoption. We had her a grand total of a month. Since my divorce I’ve had plenty of cats. My mom and I adopted 2 very small kittens (that we had to bottle feed)… After they died we got more cats… But a dog… a dog is different. My mom and I decided to adopt a dog 2 years ago (almost exactly 2 years ago). Princess is the best dog I could ever ask for. She has become my best friend. I love her more than I ever thought I could love a dog. I think she is the greatest. She has become like a child, an important member of my family.

Tonight Parker is at a sleepover… so it’s just Princess and I. We are enjoying a night to ourselves… She is SO cute… How could you not love that smile?

STRESSSSSSSSSS

2010-10-21T17:34:00.001-06:00

Parker’s cell model (made from cake and candy) Learning about cells :) Our new adoption… Parker named him Nick…. but calls him anything from Lion to Zack?? Weird kid

Life is just going by so fast! I have known for quite a while that I will be ready to start my practicum/internship in January. Well, when I got home from Phoenix I decided to get serious about finding a site… Well, I CAN’T find one!!! I have to keep my job, because, well… I need the money! But a lot of the counseling centers aren’t open evenings and weekends! Also, I need 900 hours in 30 weeks… so I have to work 30 hours per week to even come close to finishing! Ugh. I am super stressed about all this! I live in such a small area it seems impossible to find a place that will A) work with my schedule and B) give me enough hours!

I’m taking 3 classes this quarter, which is killing me! I have SO much more respect for single-working-school going mothers now! My days are packed full of Parker’s activities, my homework, cooking dinner, bedtimes, sports, etc… I don’t know how I’m going to fit 30 more hours of work a week into my schedule!!!

Anyone out there rich and want to support me for the next 9 months :) LOL

I’ll get through… it is just SUPER stressful right now!

If anyone knows of an internship site, let me know!!!!!!

Rebecca

2010-10-17T15:00:00.001-06:00

My niece Rebecca is so hilarious. I just love her so much! Today she called me to remind me that her 16th birthday is in 3 weeks. Rebecca is my oldest niece. I was 12 when she was born. 1994 was a hard year for my family. 2 months before Rebecca was born my brother Travis died. We were all still grieving when Rebecca was born… but she brought so much light into the family. Having a niece was so fun for me. I have always loved kids, and I had several baby cousins before Rebecca… but a niece is completely different. My sister, brother-in-law, and Rebecca lived in our basement the first few months of her life. What a wonderful time that was! Rebecca did tend to cry a lot, but I got so close to her during that time.

Rebecca has a genetic disorder called Holoprosencephaly. This disorder happens when the unborn baby’s brain doesn’t grow forward and divide properly during early pregnancy. Kids with Holoprosencephaly don’t have separated brain hemispheres. Because of this, Rebecca has severe learning disabilities and several physical abnormalities. But she is so beautiful and funny and kind and loving!

So, today when Rebecca called me to “remind” me her birthday is in 3 weeks, I couldn’t help but smile. She so desperately wants to be like “the other kids”, and sometimes she is very much a teenager… but sometimes she is such a little girl. Her birthday list proves this! To demonstrate, this is the list:

Jeans (not skinny jeans though)

Mr. Potato Head

Harry Potter books on CD

Play Dough

Legos

Nintendo DS or Digi

Money

Haha, I just love her! She is so tiny, so much smaller than kids her age… but she is so powerful and strong. I can’t believe she is almost 16!!!

Love you Rebecca! :)

Becoming a mother

2010-10-15T17:20:00.001-06:00

Growing up I always knew I would be a mother. When I married Bronson, we both knew we wanted kids… We tried from day one, and when I found out I probably could never have kids I was devastated. While Bronson and I were still married we took a trip to California. While shopping in Old Sacramento with my sister and mom we ran into a psychic. I have never been one to “believe in” psychics, but I thought it would be fun to have them look into my future. This psychic told me that I would get divorced around the holidays (at that point I was still “happily” married). She also told me I would never have children of my own, but I would have hundreds of children. I hated what she said… what a downer! Well, that next Christmas I spent my time filing divorce papers. So, if the divorce came true… will the fact that I will never have kids come true too?

Well, I didn’t give birth to Parker… but I love him like he is my own son. He has been in California for 2 weeks… at first I was enjoying my little bit of freedom… but now I just want that little bugger home. I miss him like I never thought possible! He is such a bright light in my life, and has truly been an inspiration. It is fun watching him grow and learn everyday. He is becoming more and more responsible as the days pass… but he is still such a kid it makes me smile. I can’t wait to pick him up from the airport tomorrow. Him coming home means we have to go back to school and work… but I am ready to get back to real life!

I miss this goof!

I know this is a touchy subject, but…

2010-10-11T21:03:00.001-06:00

OKAY, I have to add my 2 cents… not that it matters much.

Everybody deserves love and respect. End of story. How is it possible that an entire religion can support the discrimination of gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered people? How can anyone support a religion who is so discriminative? How can you give 10% of your income to a religion that hates? Do we discriminate against people who are born with 6 fingers, deaf, blind, mentally challenged, mentally ill, or a different color than ourselves? How can someone say that homosexuality is a choice? To me, that is like someone choosing to be bipolar! If you believe in God, don’t you believe he is accepting of ALL people? Don’t you believe he will love ALL his children, regardless of age, sexual orientation, color, etc…

I KNOW I will probably lose friends by having this point of view… but honestly! I am a straight woman, and I am PROUD to have friends who are gay, lesbian, and bisexual. I respect them. Do I want to be homosexual? No. We DO NOT all have to be the same!!! I don’t want to be a man, but I respect men. I am not deaf, but I respect deaf people. You don’t have to BE homosexual to respect homosexual individuals!

Am I getting my point across???? I am SOOO tired of logging onto Facebook/e-mail and having an inbox FULL of hatred. I DO NOT want to join a group to support Boyd K. Packard. I DO NOT want to join a group supporting the “treatment of homosexuality”. I DO NOT want to forward chain e-mails about making gay marriage illegal.

I SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALITY. I SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE. I DO NOT THINK HOMOSEXUALITY IS AN ILLNESS. THEY DO NOT NEED “TREATMENT” THEY NEED

RESPECT.

So, un-friend me on Facebook, take me off your e-mail list, hate me. This is my opinion. I mean no offense… but I’m pissed…

Becoming…

2010-10-09T22:54:00.001-06:00

When you are young the biggest question of your life is “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Usually the answer changes from week to week… For me, there are only 2 professions I ever wanted. Until I was about 17 I wanted to be a Cardiovascular Surgeon. Around that time I figured out 2 things: 1. I didn’t like blood enough to see it everyday & 2. I wasn’t smart enough at math and science to be a doctor. At that time I decided I wanted to be a therapist. That was 11 years ago… and my mind hasn’t changed. Now, I am so, so close. In January I will start my internship (so long as I find a placement)… and 30 weeks after that (which seems like a long time, but it ISN’T) I will graduate with a Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling. I will be a therapist. I can’t believe it. In a very short time I will be what I’ve always wanted to be. I will be the first in my family to have a Masters degree… and I thought a bachelors was cool!!

I spent a week in Phoenix preparing to be a therapist… It was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting (and HOT)… but I learned a lot and I honestly feel so much more prepared! Each of the track 2 students had to be video taped conducting a therapy session. The session wasn’t bad, but being video taped was pretty rough :) I met a lot of cool people and learned a lot of cool stuff. I am SO ready to be done… to be a LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR! This is a big deal! :) :)

Parker has been in California… he won’t be back for another week (it’s potato harvest here in Idaho). Man, do I miss that kid! He’s my cute little side kick! I didn’t realize how attached I have become. I can’t wait until he’s back!

Enjoy some photos :)

Marilynn and I (we were in the same track 1 and track 2!) My portfolio! Portfolio fair.

The video camera….. It wasn’t AS bad as I thought it would be………………….

Just stuff

2010-09-15T20:49:00.001-06:00

I’m going to say up front that my life is boring. I do basically the same thing everyday (work, spend time with Parker, help Parker with homework, cook dinner, my own homework, read to Parker, housework, bed). So, I guess I don’t have much to blog about… although I really like blogging. I am not one to get super-de-duper personal on this blog… but maybe that’s what I want? So, I’ve been thinking for awhile now about friends (and enemies). I have had 3 or 4 really good friends in my life, but it’s really hard to find a good friend, someone that is trusting and non-judgmental and all that. As an adult it’s even harder. When I moved from Utah to Idaho I left behind a few good friends. It was really hard to leave them, knowing I probably wouldn’t find friends like them in Idaho. The few friends I had in Utah knew me, like REALLY knew me (all of me). When I came to Idaho I knew it would be a new start. A place where nobody knew me, which I thought was a good thing. It’s nice that nobody knows my demons and past and shit… but it’s also lonely. I feel like I’ve hidden my true self. Tonight I went to dinner with some friends. It was a lot of fun and I really like these friends… but it’s still hard for me. I wonder if they knew the real me if they would still like me? I know EVERYONE says, “of course I would!” But how often does someone say that, then realize they didn’t mean it. I don’t even know if I’m even making sense. Ugh. I don’t know. I don’t want to air my crazy… but I also want to have friends who know and understand the real me.

Crap, I don’t know what I’m saying.

I miss blogging

2010-08-31T20:53:00.001-06:00

It’s been awhile! My life is actually pretty boring, so blogging isn’t all that fun… but I when I read all my friend’s blogs I get all jealous and stuff. So.

Parker started school a week ago tomorrow. He’s so super cute. He’s in 7th grade this year and is so trendy and fun. He has a little girlfriend (who is a cheerleader, which he likes to remind people of). She is a nice girl and I’m okay with the girlfriend thing for now… I mean, as long as they don’t touch, like… not even elbows :) Having a kid is expensive and stressful, but it’s pretty fun too. Parker and I have a lot of fun together… we seriously laugh a ton! He is hilarious and says the funniest things. Like today while eating at Panda Express he says “I see Mexicans working at Chinese places and Chinese people working at Mexican places… can they do that?” I really wanted to die laughing. He is so innocent sometimes! He’s become a lot more social lately, which is good for him. He joined Boy Scouts and went on a Scout camp last weekend. He loves it! It gives him time to do “guy” stuff. He is super interested in singing and has LOVED choir. He also likes sports and has gone to a couple football games (which may be due to his girlfriend being a cheerleader). He can’t play sports until next month because of his knee injury, but he’s excited to play basketball, baseball, and “maybe” track.

The weather is getting cooler and I LOVE it! Although summer is nice, I LOVE fall! I love when it rains and is misty and about 65 degrees :)

Isn’t he cute?

And Princess LOVES him! But notice he can’t be separated from his phone :) Wouldn’t want to miss a text from his girlyfriend.

BBQ Chicken

2010-08-08T18:31:00.001-06:00

We had a TON of leftover Creamy Lemon Pasta from last night… So tonight I made BBQ Chicken breasts to go along with the pasta. I also made a salad with spinach, romaine lettuce, broccoli slaw (YUM), tomatoes, carrots, craisins, and a little bit of cheese. I topped it with raspberry vinaigrette. It was DELICIOUS! Parker doesn’t like salad, but I made him eat a little! He LOVED the BBQ chicken, and liked the pasta about the same as last night. I didn’t eat lunch today, so I was STARVING and forgot to take pictures. But it was yummy! :)

Creamy Lemon Pasta with Asparagus

2010-08-07T19:11:00.001-06:00

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=2001161

I made this tonight. It was YUMMY. Parker added a little extra cheese because he thought it was a little to lemony… Picky picky :) It was gooooood!! The asparagus and tomato added so much flavor! MMMM… I have a TON of leftovers, but I think it will be good with some chicken added in :) Yummy. So, recipe #2 a success!

Cooking

2010-08-06T23:50:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I don’t like to cook… Or so I thought! Lately I’ve decided that I need to make healthier meals for Parker and I. I have dreaded it because honestly, it’s easier to make unhealthy, boxed food. I also need to save money by not eating out… but I miss some of the yummy stuff I get at restaurants… So… I decided I have to start cooking. Well, tonight I made spinach artichoke dip from scratch and it was YUMMY! Parker thought it was too artichoky, but what does he know :) The picture doesn’t do it justice… it really was tasty! And it was FUN to make! I made tacos tonight, which okay, isn’t the healthiest… but they were full of veggies and yummy!

I also made some popsicles from Raspberry Ice Sugar-Free Crystal Light. Parker LOVES them! I haven’t tasted them yet… but they seem pretty darn healthy :)

Tomorrow night I’m going to make: Creamy Lemon Pasta with Vegetables!

Let’s see if mine looks as good as http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=2001161

I bought a lot of yummy veggies today at the store, including broccoli slaw… Have you had this stuff?? It is SOOOO good! Thanks to my sister’s boyfriend Coady for introducing it to me :)

A Bittersweet Birthday

2010-07-21T16:10:00.001-06:00

I’m going to post twice today… Only because I had half a blog written and decided to write out some feelings about a completely different subject.

Today is Parker’s 13th Birthday. It has been such a fun day with early morning pancakes, decorations, presents, parties, pizza, candy, and fun. He has enjoyed the day and is so excited to be 13. His friends got him some fun gifts and of course he loves the AirSoft gun! But, he isn’t home with his parents. I can hear the sadness in my sister’s voice when she calls, knowing she isn’t here celebrating with her baby boy. I know, KNOW that Parker is absolutely supposed to be here with me. But it’s days like today that I hate seeing him away from his parents. While he is busy, he is okay… But I can tell he misses his mom and dad. I am just trying to make his day very special.

Happy Birthday Parker! I love you!

Life is so short

2010-07-17T22:00:00.001-06:00

The internet is an amazing tool. It connects friends, family, and strangers… The Internet can be used for evil, but for the most part, it is a powerful tool. Facebook is one tool on the Internet I use often. It is fun to see what my friends and family are up to. I love to see photos and comments. I have to admit I’m a bit of a facebook/blog stalker. I enjoy reading posts by my friends and what their friends and family have to say. Recently on Facebook I was reading some posts by a friend. She talked about her dear friends and how their 2 year old daughter had nearly drowned. It gave a link to their blog, and of course, being the voyeur I am went to check it out. This very young couple, with a young beautiful little girl were experiencing such tragedy. The little girl was in ICU in Salt Lake and was just living on prayers. For days I checked their blog, checked on the little girl named Preslee. I was so hopeful and my heart was opened up to God, praying for a miracle. Yesterday when I checked their blog I found out with hundreds of other people that little Preslee did not survive. I sat at my computer and cried for this little girl. I have never met Preslee or her parents, I am only connected to them through mutual friends on facebook. I am so incredibly sad for this family. They were given such a short time with their daughter, and it seems so unfair. I struggle to find hope and meaning. How could a loving God take such a precious gift? Hundreds and hundreds of people (many probably strangers) commented on their blog that they were praying for Preslee. So why? Why weren’t the prayers of hundreds answered? I can’t stop thinking about this story. I can’t help but wonder how this could happen to such faithful people. Parker has been in my life for 5 months and I cannot imagine losing him. Somehow children burrow themselves into your heart and they force it to grow. I love Parker more that anything I have ever loved, and the thought of losing him is unbearable. It truly makes me realize how short and fragile life is. My heart is breaking and to be honest there is a big part of me that is angry. I don’t understand. Life is so unfair sometimes, and I know that is how it is… but it doesn’t make it any easier. I hope that Preslee’s parents can find more peace than I can. I pray they will be filled with comfort and support. I don’t normally link blogs due to privacy, but I feel like this is okay. Give them support. I believe even strangers can be comforting. http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com/

I’m going to go cuddle Parker and enjoy the moments I get with him.

Goals??

2010-07-07T19:48:00.001-06:00

Okay, I was reading back through my blog… because I’m bored… and I came across a blog that had some goals on it. It was a list of things I wanted to do by 30…… I’ll be 28 next month… so really, I have 2 years to do this stuff…. Looksies at this list!

1) Go to Africa to work in an orphanage.
2) Learn a foreign language.
3) Own a Mustang (Car not horse)
4) Have my Master's Degree.
5) Run a marathon
6) Live on my own (hahahaha, sad that that made the list)
7) Have more than 127 dollars in my savings account.
8) Go on a cruise (conquer my fear of the ocean)
9) Finish my book.
10) "quit" therapy.
11) Skydive
12) Visit every state in the US

So… I did #6. And, I’m pretty close to #4. Otherwise…….. I’m not making any progress! So…… we’ll see.. Maybe I need to rethink my list??!!??

Freedom

2010-07-05T21:19:00.001-06:00

This post is a day late, I realize. Yesterday was Independence Day. This is big deal. It is easy to get caught up in the barbeques, fireworks, parades, and parties, but it is important to remember why we celebrate the 4th of July. I can’t imagine a life without Freedom. I like doing what I want, when I want. I like being a free woman. A woman that doesn’t have to worry about the clothes I wear or the company I keep. My dad was in the Army as a young man. He served two 4 year terms in general artillery. He was not in a war (thank God), but he served our country just the same. My grandpa was also in the Army. He served in WW2. I am proud of them. I am proud that I have servicemen in my bloodline. I have many dear friends that have served (or are serving) in Iraq and Kuwait. They have sacrificed for me. I feel safe in my home and country. Happy (late) 4th of July. Remember why we celebrate!!

Today is my dad’s birthday. He died 10 1/2 years ago, but I still want to celebrate him. He would be 70 today! That seems so crazy to me!! I miss him so much. I wish he were here to have birthday cake. I wish he were here to hug me and love me. Happy Birthday Daddy. I love you. I miss you.

Princess taking a comfy nap :) I love this dog!

Oh yeah… I bought a new car!! 2010 Toyota Corolla! She’s a beaut! I haven’t named her yet… but I have a few ideas in mind :)

A lot of pictures… A little writing…

2010-06-22T19:19:00.001-06:00

Well, I sure have slacked off on this whole blog thing! Time flies and a lot has been going on! So, school let out for the summer… Thank heavens! Parker played baseball and did REALLY great! He LOVED his team and it was a lot of fun for him. After the season ended we headed to California. I dropped him off in Utah so he could ride in his dad’s semi home. I headed to California on a long, quiet, boring, lonely drive (but, the quiet wasn’t really that bad) :) So, California was awesome and warm! We went to the beach, got pedicures, and played Raving Rabbids on the Wii. Emily graduated 8th grade, so I was able to go to her promotion while I was there. She looked SO grown up! It was relaxing, and it was fun for Parker to see everyone again. Parker and I brought the girls back with us. They love each other… Sometimes… I ♥ The Golden Gate Bridge!!!

I printed this picture of the 3 kids for them to give to their dad for Father’s Day… I love it! Emily’s promotion dress :) So beautiful and grown up! Just having fun… Parker was SO excited to get dressed up and take fancy pictures with his sisters! This is SO telling of how they are together! It is such a fun picture! Parker trying to make muscles with his shirt :) Hilarious! Beautiful Rebecca! Parker and Princess Beautiful Emily (I love this picture!)

THE GIRLS ARE HEADING BACK TO CALIFORNIA ON SATURDAY… IT WILL BE SAD TO SEE THEM GO. IT HAS BEEN A LOT OF FUN HAVING THE 3 OF THEM… ALTHOUGH, IT WILL BE NICE GETTING BACK TO A CLEANER HOUSE :) PARKER DOES GREAT AT KEEPING THE HOUSE CLEAN, BUT THE GIRLS AREN’T IN OUR ROUTINE… :) ANYWAY… NOT MUCH ELSE IS NEW. I AM FINISHED WITH CLASS UNTIL JULY 12TH, WHICH IS SOOOOO NICE!!! I AM READY FOR THE BREAK! NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAIT PATIENTLY FOR MY GRADE… ANYWAY, THERE IS A LITTLE UPDATE FOR YA’LL THAT WANNA READ.

All new!

2010-04-25T20:24:00.001-06:00

WOW! Things are so new and different! I got all moved in to my apartment. I love it really, I mean it has a few flaws but… overall it’s roomy and there is a lot of storage and stuff! The noise isn’t too bad either! Parker and I are enjoying the place, and Parker definitely likes that we didn’t move too far from his friends. It’s nice being 2 blocks from mom too… Especially since I don’t have a washer and dryer yet!

My room

Parker’s room

Lots of storage!

Bathroom

Living room (and parker playing band hero)

More living room

kitchen

The people who lived here before just left all their stuff… and I got this table free!!

Friday Parker and I took mom to Texas Roadhouse for her early birthday dinner. It was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed. Usually it is GREAT… but it was a little cold and stuff this time. Oh well… After, we went to Barnes and Noble and bought some Bargain books! Fun!

I thought I had extra gift bags at home… but, I only had a spongebob bag!!! HAHA Mom’s b-day

I promised Parker we would go bowling this weekend… So last night we headed over to The Rex. So, we bowled!

Parker loved it!

Showing off his mad skillz

At the Rex there is a bounce house… Parker has wanted to do this for quite some time, but I always assumed it was expensive! IT ISN’T! It was only 4 bucks for unlimited time! So… he played in the bounce house for over 2 hours!!!!!!! It was FUN for him (but I did get a little bored) :)

The obstacle course.

Sweaty boy!

Huge basketball and hoop!!!

Today I actually cooked something “difficult”! It may not sound difficult to most people… but I made fajitas and invited my mom over for an extended birthday celebration (Her b-day is tomorrow). I marinated the steak for about 8 hours in a YUMMY juice! I mixed lime, tequila, garlic, cumin, oregano, cilantro, and pepper together and poured it over the meat. Then, I cut up yellow, red, and green peppers with onion and fried it all together. It was GOOD!!!! Then, I baked some banana bread and put candles in it for mom’s birthday! What a YUMMY day!

Back to work tomorrow… but good news! There are only 28 school days left until summer vacation! YAY!!!

Motherhood

2010-04-19T20:56:00.001-06:00

I’ve never had a lack of respect for mothers.. I just never realized how freaking hard it is! Maybe when you have a baby, and raise it from infancy it is a little easier?? But, I’m not thinking so. I love Parker to death, don’t get me wrong. I would not change the fact that he is here.. but some days, I just want to follow my own schedule! This week alone I have baseball practice, therapy, carpooling, etc.. AND, cooking. Okay, so cooking isn’t all that hard, right? WRONG! I don’t cook. I never have. Both of my parents are excellent cooks. I’ve eaten well my whole life (obviously).. But I did not get the cooking gene. If you know me, you know that I have only lived on my own for about 5 months of my life. I’ve been a kid, married, or back at home with mom.. And mom cooks yummy food! But, now it’s just me and Parker.. and well, I can’t afford to eat out every night (financially or physically) :) So, I’ve made tacos and fettuccini alfredo, both of which Parker loved.. But, you know. It isn’t fun for me. Maybe it will get more fun as time goes by? Anyway, life is good. I like my cute little apartment and stuff. And I like Aunt-motherhood.. Some days are just more tiring than others :)

Parker at DARE (drug abuse resistance education) graduation. Fun night!!

From blossoming to blizzards

2010-04-10T20:34:00.001-06:00

For Easter, my mom, Parker, and I went to Albuquerque New Mexico. We wanted to spend some time with my brother and his little family. We hadn’t seen Rosie since she was 2 weeks old… and now she is ONE! It was fun seeing how much Marisa and Rosie had both grown. Handsome Parker Handsome Brother Parker and Marisa Rosie Rosie Rosie Parker and Delia Marisa and Rosie Dying eggs eggs Coloring eggs Rosie Parker and Marisa Marisa Marisa

It was a REALLY fun trip, but the drive was VERY tiring! 13 hours each way… A lot of it on back roads and crazy weather. Easter was fun and all that.

I know I haven’t written much lately, but… I will catch you all up.

Parker is still good, enjoying school and Sugar City and all that.

Adventures!

2010-03-21T10:56:00.001-06:00

Parker moved in two weeks ago! Man, time flies! It has been fun having him here, and I think he is finally used to Idaho. He LOVES the snow!! Weird kid! He has made TONS of new friends and is liking school as much as the next kid. He and I are reading “The Lightening Thief” together… We’ve watched tons of movies… Including Planet 51, Princess and the frog, transformers, etc… I have to say, the hardest part for me is helping him with his math. Anyone who knows me, knows I am horrible at math… and even his 6th grade math challenges me. But, we are both learning as we go :) He is such a good sport! He is very polite! I get comments everyday about how polite he is! He is a good helper too! he didn’t even complain about cleaning the bathroom today! It really has been fun having a kid around. It definitely doesn’t make me baby hungry… but it’s good experience all the same :)

So, here are a few pictures from his first 2 weeks.

Isn’t he cute!

Being an idiot and becoming a caregiver

2010-03-07T08:08:00.001-07:00

I really don’t want to tell this story, because basically i feel like an idiot… but what the hell? So, have fun reading this:

Last week I got a new blackberry curve. I like the phone, and decided to put my iphone on Ebay. So, I started the bidding price at $250.00… I figured I might get $300 if I was lucky. I didn’t get bids until the last couple of hours… then, all of a sudden I was getting bids for $900… $950… $1000! I was like, holy WTF? So, the bidding ended and someone bid $1100. It sounded too good to be true, but the lady e-mailed me right away and send she needed it shipped ASAP. She lives in London, so I figured it would cost quite a bit to ship, but I was getting $1100! I could deal with shipping!! So….. I send her a PayPal bill. A few hours later I get an e-mail from PayPal saying the payment was deposited, and I needed to ship the package. so, I get the address and go to the post office. Come to find out, the lady wants the iphone shipped to her grandson in Nigeria. Okay, now… hold your judgment… I am Naive! I pay $35, and send it off. I get home, check PayPal, and the money is NOTTTT there!!! So, I freak out… e-mail the lady, and she sends back a bunch of lies. So, yesterday I went to the post office, and I hope the shipment will be stopped before it leaves the country. If not, I’m out an iphone. How dumb can I be????? If it sounds too good to be true… It is!!!!!! The weird thing is, she had all great reviews on ebay… I don’t understand how she hasn’t be caught before. So, I get the idiot of the year award! But, seriously… how can someone fake e-mails from PayPal, have great reviews and all that?? The world sucks sometimes!

Well… in other news… My 12 year old nephew Parker is moving in with me. He has really be struggling in school and with emotions and stuff… and after talking a lot to his parents and stuff, we all decided a change might be good for him. So, he is flying from California today… My mom and I pick him up at the Salt Lake City airport at 4 PM. Tomorrow I will get him enrolled in the 6th grade, and all that jazz. I am nervous… but I’m also excited. I think it will really be a growing experience for both of us. I hope things work out. I hope the change will help him, and he will be able to gain some self-esteem and stuff. It will be hard for everyone involved… but I also think it will be good too. I know it will be really hard on his parents… and I’m sure Parker will get homesick… but we can work all that out! My mom and I are headed out to Salt Lake in a couple of hours! It will be a long day! We are driving there, picking him up, and driving home! It is about a 4 hour drive both ways!! It will probably be a long week!

Parker’s room :)

Parker and Rosie 1 year ago… (I can’t believe Rosie is almost 1!!!!!!)

In memory

2010-02-28T10:41:00.001-07:00

My dad was born in 1940. In 1975 he married my mom. He worked hard and always supported us. He loved me (and my brothers and sister) :) He was an awesome dad! I loved my dad more than anything! Even though he was ill most of my life, he still did what he could. He LOVED to fish and camp. He was always at the lake, ALWAYS. He loved to take us fishing, and we loved to go! When I was little he worked for a restaurant… He would call us when the first batch of bread came out of the oven so we could run over to eat warm bread with him. He loved going on long drives. Sunday’s were spent driving… It didn’t matter where we went, we just drove. My mom and sister would sing, sing, sing… I loved those days! My dad was strong too. He may have been sick, but he was one buff dude! Not even joking!

One time my dad took me to the mall (just to walk, and window shop)… It was the best day ever! We didn’t buy anything… We just walked around, mostly in silence… but that was how I liked it… Just being with him. Going to the mall was pretty rare because dad would much rather spend his time fishing! I could write pages about the times I got to spend with my dad… and the fun things we did as a family!

Dad died of a heart attack on leap year 2000 (February 29, 2000). It was the worst day of my life. I love my papa and miss him dearly. I can’t believe 10 years have passed!

I wrote this poem for my dad. It was printed on the back of his funeral program. (this is from memory, so I’m pretty sure it isn’t exact, but it’s pretty close)

a warm and tender man came into this world

he lived his life serving his country and his family

he had warm smile and a laugh like Santa Claus

He loved his children and grandchildren

Some called him boss

some called him friend

some called him Ron

but I called him dad

I love you daddy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Me and my papa ♥Mom, Dad and Me on my wedding day

Dad and Kim when she was in labor with Emily (who is now 13!!!!)

My papa

Family photo (Kim’s wedding 1994; yes, I was super chubbo!) This is probably the last photo with Travis in it. :(

Dad loved being shirtless. haha! He also loved Christmas!

In Memory of Ronald George Bagshaw

July 5, 1940 – February 29, 2000

28 by 28

2010-02-22T15:56:00.001-07:00

Okay ya’ll. I have been hearing on the radio all this jazz about 30 by 30 or 25 by 25 (etc… etc…). I wasn’t sure what this was, but the other day I figured it out. It is about weight loss (for my friends with weight triggers, I am going to be talking about weight loss). So, in 6 months I will be 28. This isn’t a significant age really… A little closer to 30 I guess, but no biggie. But, I have decided that I want to start eating better and being more active. I don’t want to “diet”. Dieting is stupid! Seriously, you diet for awhile, then fall back to the old lifestyles… So, I just want to be more healthy. I do want to lose weight… but, it is more about being healthy. So, I am going to jump on this bandwagon. I am going to try to lose 28 pounds by my 28th birthday. I have 6 months, so I don’t think it will be too bad… but I do need to work for it. So, starting today I’m going to drink more water, eat more fruits and veggies, and be active (I don’t want to call it exercise!)

So, yeah… This is my new thing. I’ll keep you updated :)

New background!

2010-02-21T19:29:00.001-07:00

Okay, I’ve spent the day on Photoshop trying to figure out how to make my own background. Nothing online ever suits my fancy… So, I figured it out! This is a VERY simple background, and I need to make some adjustments… but overall, I’m pretty happy with it. So, now that I’ve spent the whole day doing this I can move on with bigger and better things! :)

So, tell me what ya’ll thinksies.

Back to work tomorrow. So fun??

No.

Colors and such

2010-02-21T11:39:00.001-07:00

I think I figured it all out…

A book review… and a movie review!

2010-02-20T20:15:00.001-07:00

I finished reading “Sickened” by Julie Gregory. What a sad book! Munchausen by Proxy is a horrible sickness. Parents making their kids sick, who could do that? I thought it provided a great picture of what the daughter had to live through. I would highly recommend it! 9/10

Yesterday I went to see Shutter Island with friends. I hadn’t heard much about it, but I did know it had good reviews. Well, honestly I loved it! I thought it had great twists and turns! 10/10

So, there you have it! Not much is going on with me. Work is dramatic and such, but that’s a post for another time. And, I haven’t taken pictures in forever, so I need to do that.

The end

A new book review

2010-02-14T18:39:00.001-07:00

Happy Sunday peeps. Okay, so I just finished reading “Switching Time” by Richard Baer. This book, written by a psychiatrist, is about a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formally, and more commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). For many reasons I have a HUGE interest in Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). I’ve had this book on my shelf for quite some time, and decided to finally read it. It is one of MANY I have read on the subject.

First, if you don’t like reading books that involve child abuse/neglect, DON’T read this book. It goes pretty deep into the woman’s childhood, which includes SEVERE sexual, physical, psychological, and emotional abuse. It follows the woman’s life through therapy and recovery, and a whole lot of pain. What an inspirational book! It is sad… It is painful to read at times… but I found it very interesting, and thought the psychiatrist did a great job at telling the story of his patient.

Many people do not believe DID exists… That it is a disorder made up by a mentally ill person. This might be true for some, but don’t be too quick to assume it isn’t “real”. You may actually know someone surviving this disorder! Mental illness is rough… but it is very interesting to read about. Or, maybe it’s just me… and that is why I’m going to be a therapist :) Who knows!

If you are interested at all in mental illness, or want to read something pretty cool… read this book! I give it a 9/10!!

I am currently reading a book called “Sickened” by Julie Gregory. It is a story about Munchausen By Proxy (another VERY interesting mental illness!) Stay tuned for my review! :)

Karma and The Valentine’s Day blues…

2010-02-13T14:05:00.001-07:00

Okay guys… This week totally sucked. I pissed off the gods or Mother Nature, or The Godfather or something! On Monday a jerk of an old man backed into me at Broulims. He thinks he is God, therefore shouldn’t have to pay for the dent in my car… so he is yelling and fighting and throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old boy. On Tuesday I didn’t feel great… but went to work anyway. Well, my student ended up having a meltdown and drama, drama, drama, then went home. Wednesday I felt even more crappy, so I stayed home and puked all day. Thursday work drama, drama, drama, drama… work meeting, crying at work, etc… etc… etc… Then, Happy Hour at Garcia’s with Jackie and Cindy, which resulted in an old, drunk, leathery, hag called us pretty but fat. This goes on and on guys, so I won’t bore you with it. Just know, my luck… well, SUCKS!

So, wah, right? Yes.

I’m not loving V-day this year… Or should I say, Singles Awareness Day. It is totes rough on me… which is lame! I guess it is just a weird year. On the 18th I would be married 10 years. Whoa peeps, that is C.R.A.Z.Y! I am totally glad I’m not married to him anymore, but… I don’t know, it’s hard too.

My papa has been gone for 10 years this month too. I can’t believe it. 10 years just flies by! Seriously. 10 years ago I graduated high school, got married, lost my dad, started college. It seems like yesterday.

Anyway, I did go see Valentine’s Day with Jackie, Cindy, and Karly. It was a pretty cute movie, and I had a good time hanging out with friends!

So, Happy Valentine’s Day… or Singles Awareness Day… or Sunday. :)

WTF

2010-02-04T20:46:00.001-07:00

Ok,ay, So I STILL have a headache. The doctor doesn’t seem to know what the problem is… He gave me more pills, and they seriously don’t help. I can’t tell you how bad this freaking hurts… I don’t know what is causing it, but I want it GONE!

Besides that… all is crazy… but good.

A couple movies and a few pictures

2010-01-31T17:19:00.001-07:00

<------- The spookster <----- Loving play time! <------ not loving the dog <------- Pretty kitty

<------ More hoar frost <----I might be obsessed <------- Beauty

Last night mom and I went to see 2012 at the “cheap theater”. I didn’t have high expectations going in, but I DID enjoy it!! The plot was a little loose… but the special effects were AWESOME!!! I am SO glad I saw it on the big screen. I have a total crush on John Cusack… so… 8/10.

Just a while ago, mom and I watched “The last house on the left”. Holy shiz guys, this movie was GROSS! Scared the crap out of me, but mostly it was just gory and disgusting. Totes would not recommend it! I guess if you totally love horror/gore flicks, you might like it. Otherwise, steer clear! 1/10!

Back to work tomorrow… Should be fun, I guess. This week I have a dentist appointment, which totally sucks… but I should survive. Lost starts on Tuesday and I am SO excited it is coming back on TV for one last season! Hopefully when the season ends I will be less “lost”… But I kinda doubt it.

We have started to think about our family trip this summer. I am excited to see my nieces and nephew and brother and sister! Rosie will be ONE in March and I haven’t seen her since she was 2 weeks old!!!!! I can’t wait to see her again!!! Marisa will turn 6 this summer and will start Kindergarten! Wow! Time really does fly!

Happy Sunday ♥

Hoar frost

2010-01-28T17:21:00.001-07:00

Hoarfrost (or white frost) “is the tiny solid deposition of warter vapor from saturated air which occurs when the temperature of the surfaces is below freezing point. It occurs generally with clear skies” (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Hoar_frost).

Sometimes life sucks… and things seem pretty ugly. There is war and child abuse and debt and drama. But then there is beauty. (I know this is getting sappy guys, stick with me). I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately. I have to wear oxygen now when I sleep because apparently I don’t breathe enough… I stubbed my toe a GOOD one today, my ankle is puffy and feels broken, I’m tired. Poor me. But this morning when I went outside to leave for work, one of my favorite things had happened… Hoar frost. (Not to mention the sun shined today). So, even though life sucks sometimes… There is a lot of pretty stuff to admire!

My 6th grade student and I took these pictures today during recess. It was so fun to see how RS reacted to the beautiful trees!. RS took all the photos except the one where he is running to slide across the ice. (Click the image to see it larger).

A new book review (and a quick story)

2010-01-27T17:49:00.001-07:00

<-------- sissy drink???

Before I go off on a book review tangent… I have to tell you a funny story. So, as you read, I went to the doctor yesterday. He was a saint and gave me pain killers… which I can’t take during the day because, well, I work with children and I have to stay sharp! Anyway… My doctor (Dr. L.) is actually pretty awesome. He’s pretty young, so he’s got that going for him… and his beard is full and totally coolio. So… As I’m telling him about my horrid headache, whining and crying (like I do), we get on the topic of caffeine. He tells me he drinks A LOT of Diet Mountain Dew. He USE to drink Diet Coke… but he thought that was a sissy drink, so he switched. He also has conspiracy theories about Wal-Mart that are pretty rad. I will tell you those theories at a later time :)

So… On to the book review.

Let me preface this by saying I have nothing against those members of the FLDS (or any other religious person). These are solely my opinions and I own them ;)

This was a SAD book. It is the story of Elissa Wall, a member (former) of the FLDS church. She was raised to believe in the FLDS prophet and priesthood. Her large family struggled through life, and it was difficult for her growing up. At age 14 she was given (for marriage) to her first cousin (an older man). This cousin had always been very horrible to her growing up, and she had no loving feelings toward him. She knew nothing about marriage or sex (they are taught the opposite sex are like poisonous snakes). Her cousin/husband rapes her throughout their marriage (she doesn’t know it is rape until much later). She tries talking to the prophet many times (Rulon Jeffs, then later Warren Jeffs). They tell her to “keep sweet” and listen to their priesthood head (husband).

I don’t want to give too much of the book away, but it is good/sad. I honestly didn’t know much about the FLDS people or religion (other than the bad publicity on TV). It really opened my eyes to the way the members (mainly women) are treated. Elissa Wall had a terrifying and painful life. I would recommend this book. (As a side note, I think polygamy is gross. I don’t think any woman should have to share her husband. Especially with cousins and sisters and such).

9/10 rating for me!

Pain killers

2010-01-26T19:39:00.001-07:00

This is what my head feels like

This pictures make me happy.

I post this while on pain killers… so forgive me :)

peopleofwalmart.com makes me laugh. Seriously.

My laptop charge cord is dead. I had to buy a new one and that sucks. For real.

I feel like I am being stabbed with an ice pick… Um, yes yes…

American Idol makes me giggle. For shiz.

Shout out to my bestie Lori who just became a grammy! Canyon Walker is super cute!

Something more positive!

2010-01-23T13:53:00.001-07:00

Wow… Have I been a downer or what?!?! I read back over my last few posts and, holy cow… I need an upper :) My life is actually pretty awesome right now. I really do love my job even when the kids are fighting me and everyone else! I love the kids I work with, I mean seriously guys… they are awesome kids. “RT” is always reading me stories and laughing and laughing all the way through. “Giggle, Giggle, Quack” is one of our favorites. Sitting with him while he reads honestly brightens my day more than anything! And he’s doing SO good too! Even though “RS” is a handful, I really do care for him and just hope for the best. I have awesome co-workers too. I mean, they keep me laughing all day! Seriously, if you had these co-workers you’d love your job too! I don’t just like them at work, I like them outside of work too… which is sayin’ something (although there are a couple of co-workers whom I actually dislike very much, the rest of them make up for it!)

Yesterday I started my group observation internship. I am observing a juvenile sex offender group at JCC (Juvenile correction center). Last night I was a bit nervous. I thought I would struggle with this particular group… but I didn’t. I loved it. I thought it was a great experience and I can’t wait to continue attending!

And, even though I hate talking and emotions, I do have a pretty good counselor. He sticks with me when I don’t feel like I can stick with myself. So, it’s good. I’m good (even though a mental breakdown sounds nice some days) :)

I realize that Abby is probably right about the sensible shoes. I have only ever had 2 female counselors… My very first counselor was female, but I was pretty young, so I don’t remember her shoes. My other female counselor was a jerk! She told me I had too high of an IQ to be feeling sorry for myself… So, I did not pay attention to her shoes. And, maybe all men’s shoes seem sensible… because honestly, how uncomfortable can they be? Right? But Psychiatrists still wear crazy earrings and plucking eyebrows is still awesome!

So, there you have it… a happy post :) ♥

PS. These are the cutest cats ever! :)

Emotions = suck

2010-01-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

As an aspiring therapist, I want people to talk about their emotions and feelings. But... I don't want to talk about emotions. I have emotions and they suck and I really hate them. So tomorrow was the day I planned to tell my therapist I was done. I was done with talking and emotions and crap. But now I'm scared. I'm scared to lose my lifeline. I'm scared I will bury these emotions and get sick. I don't want to be the old me. I don't want to be the me that is crazy and incapable of dealing with life and crap. I want so desperately to be normal. To have friends. To date. To experience life. If I quit on therapy, what will life be. If I don't deal with these issues, can I ever move on? This sucks.

A little bit personal

2010-01-17T22:13:00.001-07:00

I haven’t written many blogs that are personal. I guess I just worry that people will think of me differently… maybe I hope people will view me differently. Anyway…. Anyone who knows me probably knows that I have spent a lot of time in therapy. I started therapy when I was about 8, and have been going ever since (on and off anyway). Therapy has been pretty good for me… I have had a few loser therapists… but overall they have been pretty competent. I want to be a therapist… so I understand the theory of it all… but I hate being on the couch. They all look the same, blue or green, mostly with plaid or stripes. The degrees and awards on the wall. The one or two family photos. A plant (fake 99% of the time), and the therapist with the sensible shoes and matching socks, the casual but not so casual shirt… It all looks the same. It all feels the same. and I FEEL the same. Unable to talk about the shit that is really in my head. I avoid those topics by small talking… talking about college or the movies I’ve seen and books I’ve read. I talk about the people that bug me, but not the roots of it all. I don’t talk about my past, because that is exactly the stuff I want to keep to myself. So… what exactly has 20 years of therapy and thousands of dollars given me? NOTHING! But I’m okay most of the time. I’ve gotten rid of many bad habits, and have possibly gained some good habits. Is this making sense? I’m afraid it probably doesn’t. My session Friday sucked… I mean, really sucked. Not because “J” sucks… but because talking sucks. So, I think I need a break… like a LONNNGGGG break! So. Yes. I’m done with therapy. I want to be the therapist with the sensible shoes and degrees on the wall but I DO NOT want to be on the ugly couch any longer. Yes, I do know this post makes no sense… I’ll work on being more clear the next time I write something personal :)

PS. I ♥ my new blog design. What do you think?

12 A.M. 911 call…

2010-01-16T21:32:00.001-07:00

I woke up at Midnight because my neighbors were SCREAMING… “Get off my effing property”… blah blah blah. So, I did some of this :

I saw my two guys beating the crap out of each other……

So, I decide to call 911… I explain to them that I’m peeking through my window and 2 guys are trying to kill each other with fists… Cops come, sobriety tests involved, 2 hours later no arrests but fight is over. So, I fall back to sleep and thank heavens I didn’t witness something more serious. I hate having crazy neighbors, but I think 911 is getting used to my calls :)

PS. I’m happily quitting therapy, effective immediately. Story to come later, maybe… if you wanna hear it.

Sometimes life is unfair…

2010-01-12T18:46:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I know this post is going to be a downer… But at least I warned you! Just like the title says, sometimes life isn’t fair. Good people get sick and die and “bad” people get healthier and richer. The other day I found out David (My friend that has been in the hospital with Meningitis and brain abscesses) has permanent brain damage. He has a hole in the left side of the brain, and pretty severe damage to the whole left side of his brain. While talking with Lori (his wife, and my 2nd mom) I found out that the left side of our brain helps us with reasoning and emotions. Although he has relearned to walk, and can say a few words (and will probably be able to speak more as time goes), he will have to have 24 hour supervision either at home with a healthcare nurse or in some kind of institution. Of course their insurance only pays for 60 days in inpatient rehab… So the money thing is going to be a big issue. David will most likely function at a 7ish year old level for the rest of his life. Lori’s older boys understand, they are adults and can understand how the brain works and what the healing process entails. Their younger boys however are only 5 and 7. How will they understand that their father is alive, but doesn’t know how to be a father? How will they adjust to life with a dad that doesn’t remember them much of the time? Who can’t help with their homework and cuddle them when they are sad? Of course a miracle could happen… Miracles do happen, I have seen them… But I have to be realistic. I have to prepare myself. I have to be okay with having a friend (and father-figure) that has brain damage, and will most likely not remember me or the times we spent together. I want to be a support for Lori and her boys. I want to be someone they can turn to when they don’t think they can handle it anymore. But before I can do that, I have to grieve the loss of a friend but also celebrate the fact that Davis IS alive! He is alive! He will continue to bless us in many ways, even if it isn’t the way we wish it could be. I’m getting to a place where I can be okay, but I’m not there yet. When I think about life for the Duke family, I cry. I cry because they DON’T deserve it… Because they are GOOD people. People who believe and trust in God more than anyone I know. They have good hearts and they do the right thing, always. I guess life isn’t fair… but I wish in this case it were.

Yesterday after work I logged into Facebook and found that a friend from high school passed away. I don’t know how he died, but I do know that he left behind a wife and a one year-old little boy. I know that he was always nice to me in school, even when other kids weren’t. He was probably a good husband and father (I haven’t seen him since high school… So I’m just guessing). Even though we weren’t close friends, we didn’t “hang out” in high school… We didn’t keep in touch after high school… I grieve. I grieve because so many people I went to high school with, some I was close to and some I wasn’t, have died. They have died young, TOO young. They have left behind parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, wives, husbands, and children. They have left behind the people who knew them, that respected them, that loved them. Bret Blakey was only 27 years old. He has left behind his wife and small child. I grieve for his family.

Working with the kids at school makes me realize more than anything that life isn’t fair. The kids I work with have some kind of behavioral or emotional “disturbance”… Most of them (not all) have been abused, abandoned, neglected, starved, lied to, etc… Although they are pretty naughty kids I can’t help but think about their life at home. I can’t help but want to hug them and tell them everything will be okay….. But everything WON’T be okay. Their lives are hell and there is nothing that I can do about it. It makes me angry, ANGRY! Their parents keep custody of the kids and no consequences are ever given. Why do the bad people get all the glory? Why do the faithful and loving have so many more trials?

I wish I knew…

Kids say the darndest things

2010-01-08T18:17:00.001-07:00

I have had a hell week! Work has been a nightmare! My sixth grade “client” has been SO naughty! He won’t do anything and is so defiant and disrespectful! I am just at my wits end with him… He told me today that I am “ruining his life”, that he is naughty because of me, that he hates me, and that I am “insulting” him (etc, etc, etc). I just laugh and brush it off… I mean, he’s 12! But, after awhile I do start to take it personally. It makes me feel inadequate at my job when I can’t control his behavior. I was totally fishing for a compliment and/or validation from the principal today… I said, “I SUCK at my job!” (thinking of course that she would say, “no, no, you are doing great!) NO, she didn’t say ANYTHING! So much for that fishing trip!

Well, to make it better my little 3rd grade client was telling me all about how he was going to capture a tiger (and I mean, this was an IN-DEPTH story!) He told me that he was going to name it Kendra, after me of course! UNLESS, it were a mean tiger… Then he wouldn’t… because “you’re not mean”…… What a tender little boy! Well, he can throw one heck of a tantrum, but lately he’s been just sweet and loving! I’m glad to know that I’m only ruining one student’s life!

I hope next week will be BETTER! I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE!!! (or maybe we could get a snow and/or cold day… PLEASE!)

I’m currently reading “Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. I read it when I was a little tyke… decided I wanted to read it again.

I’m going to write a lot juicier, personal stuff if I ever get readers/stalkers/comments :) hint, hint :)

I just think it’s lame to write about troubles and life and personal stuff when I can’t get some advice! :)

So, yeah.

A horrible book…

2010-01-07T18:58:00.001-07:00

Okay, by now you’ve probably figured out that I LOVE books… I often read psychology or self-help books… Regardless of my past, I’ve been able to read books that may be triggering without problems. My therapist always recommends I DON’T read books about abuse, self-injury, and trauma, because it could be triggering… but I’ve always gone against his wisdom and read them anyway… NEVER had an issue… LOVE these kinds of books. I love them mostly because they give me strength to keep on keepin’ on… But, yesterday I read the book “Push” By Sapphire. The new movie “Precious” (not being shown in Idaho) is based on this book. It is a book about a “learning challenged” student who is raped by her father and births 2 children before 16. I won’t go into details, but it is a GRAPHIC book. I didn’t think it would be too bad, I mean… they made a movie out of it, so how bad could it be?? BAD! This book is triggering!!! I had to finish reading it, because… well, I started it. But it was horrible. It was sad and disturbing and awful. I don’t know HOW in the world they would ever make a movie out of it. I hated the book. It was 10 times worse than “The Color Purple” (which was pretty dang sad!) So, I give it a 7/10 on writing quality, but a 1/10 for substance. Blah!

P.S. It is COLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD! It was –19 this morning… It has to be –20 to get out of school/work… and trust me, our superintendent is a STICKLER about it… So we were at work today. I hope tomorrow is EVEN colder so I can SLEEP IN!!! :)

The Last Lecture

2010-01-05T20:09:00.001-07:00

Have you read this book? Well, I just finished it… and I thought it was GREAT! I bought the book 6 or so months ago, but because of graduate school reading, I put it on my shelf and forgot about it. Well, because I read too much when I’m not in school I ran out of books to read! So, I searched my shelf for something to re-read while my mom read Push (a book I ordered from Amazon but let my mom read first). So, as I’m perusing my bookshelf, this book catches my eye. It was like Christmas morning to find a book in MY HOUSE that I haven’t read! So… Of course I read it (DUH). I’ve heard a couple of professors give a “Last Lecture”. Usually it goes something like, “fulfill your dreams, you can do it, I’m awesome, and I quit!” So, I didn’t have too high expectations for the book. I honestly bought it because it was so popular (SO LAME, I know!) Now that I am finished with the book I can see WHY it is so popular. Randy Pausch was an amazing man. It was painful to read knowing this poor guy died of a painful, incurable cancer. He left behind a wife and 3 SMALL children, but he also left behind a lot more! His views on “childhood dreams” is magical. It makes me remember all of the things I wanted to be when I “grew up”. Still today I have small dreams of who I want to be or what I want to do… but why can’t I do them? A little hope and a lot of hard work, and I can make it! This guy is a cheerleader for a lot of people, including me! Some parts of the book are technical, funny, and sad… and I wanted to cry at the end for his children that will never know him… but I also had to be happy that he could leave an important message before he left this world. I KNOW this is a SUPER sappy post, but really… Sometimes I need little reminders that my life could SUCK so much worse. I need to be thankful for my family, health, education, and dreams. I need to live because so many people die too young. I don’t want to waste my precious time being depressed or glum… because some people don’t have a chance to achieve all the things I want to!

I’m not going to say that this is the BEST book I’ve ever read… it isn’t…. but it is a book that will stick with me. I give it 7.5/10 (but it probably deserves a 9 on the emotional scale) :) So, I do recommend this book… and not just because it’s popular!!

First book reviews of the year…

2010-01-03T14:50:00.001-07:00

I am not a person who can read and enjoy a book over a few weeks… I have to read a book in a day (2 if it’s long). I hate reading a chapter and putting it down. Because of this, I only read when I know I have enough time to read the entire book (or at least a good long portion of it). If I were interested in reading Harry Potter (which I am not) I would have to read the entire series over a weeks time. This isn’t always easy, especially when I’m taking classes… but since I’m on the tail end of Christmas vacation, I decided to read a few books. First, I read “Shattered Silence” by Melissa G. Moore. This book is written by the daughter of a serial killer (The Happy Face Killer). I got it for Christmas, and was excited to read it! This is one I read in just a few hours. It kept my attention from the first page. (I was excited that it was published in Springville, UT… My home town). In this book, the author (Melissa) explains her suffering, but it isn’t in a way that is normal “I hate my life, I’m going to attempt suicide and drinking and drugs all at once” type of autobiography. Trust me, I have read a lot of books that are like that… and I like most of them… However, I enjoyed the positive attitude the author has throughout her most depressing life. Throughout most of the book I was wishing I was her… Not with a serial killer dad and abusive step-father and that bit… but I wished I had her positive outlook on life… her intuition! Her intuition and positive attitude drew me in, made me understand that life may suck at times… but I am ultimately in control of what happens, and how I handle it. This was not a self-help book… it was an autobiography… but I most def want to get my money back for the nonsense Dr. Phil writes about (no offense Dr. Phil, I still love you). I seriously-so-seriously will probably read this book a couple more times! It gets a 9.5/10 on my review scale! (which by the way means nothing!) :)

Next up, I read “Breathless” by Dean Koontz. This book was a FAST read… and if you read Koontz and appreciate his light humor and animal loving self… you will love this book. The book is about a single man with a lovely dog who comes across a mystery in the animal kingdom. Along with a Veterinarian friend and others they go on a search to figure it out…. BUT at the same time other mysteries are happening around the country… These mysteries may or may not be connected to the single man’s discovery. I really can’t describe it anymore without giving it away! If you have never read any of Koontz’s books, it may be a little far fetched for you… but if you’ve enjoyed the Odd Thomas series or “Your Heart Belongs To Me” or any others like those, you will appreciate this book. Koontz has a way with words, they are like candy to my mind… That sounds corny, but it’s true! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way Koontz describes characters, animals, and eerie situations! So, if you are a Koontz fan, it’s great! If you aren’t, I still think you’ll like the light nature and mystery in it. It does keep you guessing! My rating 8/10.

Last, but not least… I re-read “Speak” By Laurie Halse Anderson. Anyone who has known me longer than a few days knows I love to read Young Adult literature. Maybe it’s because I’m a kid at heart, or maybe it’s because they are fast and light (well, most of them), I’m not sure of the reason exactly, but I read a lot! I love the “Magik” series and all the books by Ellen Hopkins (She writes some MAD rhymes!) Anyway… Speak might be considered a Young Adult book… but who cares? It’s GOOD. It’s about a young girl who calls the cops at a high school party. Her ninth grade year SUCKS because of it… Nobody likes her, and to top it off she does not speak. Her parents get SUPER frustrated, along with the teachers (like Mr. Neck who sounds like a total d-bag!) I have read this book before, but read it again today… I don’t know why I picked that book out of the hundreds I have, but it lifted my mood a little. It reminds me of how I need to be… Not a speechless girl, but a strong, independent woman. It is a really great book, and I recently recommended it to my 15 year old cousin. It isn’t a “bad” (by bad, I mean in a parents eyes) book… it is true (well, I think it’s fiction…) But it is true in the sense that people can relate to it!! I sure do! I give this a 10/10 for shiz!

A new template and new resolutions

2009-12-31T19:43:00.001-07:00

Last year I decided I wasn’t going to share my resolutions. I didn’t think it was important for anyone to know my deepest wishes and wants. Throughout this year I have changed a lot, mentally and emotionally. I have realized some great… and not so great things about myself, but I’m not afraid to share these with my friends (the 2 people who read this blog) :) So, for your reading enjoyment, my 2010 New Year Resolutions:

1. Volunteer. I love people. I love helping people. I have volunteered short-term at many places (crisis line, daycares, summer reading programs, etc) but I’ve never actually been a “volunteer”… Somewhere important, somewhere where I can make a real difference… So, I am going to call places Monday and set something up! And volunteer ALL year!

2. Be more positive! I have found over the past year that I am a Negative-Nelly. I tend to see the glass half empty, and I don’t like it! I want to be a lot more positive in 2010! Which means less gossip and more compliments!

3. Be more active. I am NOT making a resolution to exercise… I know for a fact that I am SO stubborn I will NOT exercise just because I made a goal of it. Really, I just want to be more active. I want to take Princess on more walks. I want to spend more time playing with the kids at school instead of just watching them play. I want to see the sights of Idaho (when it isn’t –20 outside!)

4. Eat more vegetables! Pretty self explanatory… I do pretty well, but I want to get more of the food groups in my diet. (which also means, less sugar… I mean… I am diabetic!)

5. Less procrastination!! It’s not working out to save 15-10 page papers until the day they are due! It makes me crazy! And crazy I DON’T want to be! :)

6. Be more responsible with my money! I am VERY frivolous! I spend money on the dumbest stuff… seriously! I need to cut my spending A LOT… and pay off bills… and SAVE. For now, spend less and pay more debt!

7, Finish therapy. I mean, I know it isn’t something you would normally be able to do… but I am so close, really. So many of my “issues” have been worked through… and I am HAPPY…… really! I know there are just a few more things I need to work through, but I think 2010 is the year!

8. Get more in touch with my spirituality. I am Buddhist, but this isn’t entirely the case. Although I find Buddhism to peaceful and accepting. But, part of the reason I like Buddhism is because it takes away my fear of God. Fear may sound like the wrong word… and maybe it is, but I fear there is not a God, and on the other hand I fear there is a God, because I don’t understand what that means. Does this make sense? Probably not! But, I need to figure this all out for myself!

9. Journal more. I use to write in a journal EVERYDAY, no matter what. Lately, I have really slacked off in that department… So… I resolve to write everyday, again.

10. Be less OCD. Because it’s December 31st and my resolutions don’t officially start until tomorrow… I can add a 10th resolution because if it weren’t even I’d go nuts…. But tomorrow, I resolve to be less “OCD” :)

There you go :) HAPPY NEW YEAR! LET’S HOPE 2010 IS WAY BETTER THAN 2000!