Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Bittersweet Birthday

I’m going to post twice today… Only because I had half a blog written and decided to write out some feelings about a completely different subject.

Today is Parker’s 13th Birthday. It has been such a fun day with early morning pancakes, decorations, presents, parties, pizza, candy, and fun. He has enjoyed the day and is so excited to be 13. His friends got him some fun gifts and of course he loves the AirSoft gun! But, he isn’t home with his parents. I can hear the sadness in my sister’s voice when she calls, knowing she isn’t here celebrating with her baby boy. I know, KNOW that Parker is absolutely supposed to be here with me. But it’s days like today that I hate seeing him away from his parents. While he is busy, he is okay… But I can tell he misses his mom and dad. I am just trying to make his day very special.

Happy Birthday Parker! I love you!

Parker's birthday 001 Parker's birthday 010 Parker's birthday 012 Parker's birthday 018 Parker's birthday 070

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Life is so short

The internet is an amazing tool. It connects friends, family, and strangers… The Internet can be used for evil, but for the most part, it is a powerful tool. Facebook is one tool on the Internet I use often. It is fun to see what my friends and family are up to. I love to see photos and comments. I have to admit I’m a bit of a facebook/blog stalker. I enjoy reading posts by my friends and what their friends and family have to say. Recently on Facebook I was reading some posts by a friend. She talked about her dear friends and how their 2 year old daughter had nearly drowned. It gave a link to their blog, and of course, being the voyeur I am went to check it out. This very young couple, with a young beautiful little girl were experiencing such tragedy. The little girl was in ICU in Salt Lake and was just living on prayers. For days I checked their blog, checked on the little girl named Preslee. I was so hopeful and my heart was opened up to God, praying for a miracle. Yesterday when I checked their blog I found out with hundreds of other people that little Preslee did not survive. I sat at my computer and cried for this little girl. I have never met Preslee or her parents, I am only connected to them through mutual friends on facebook. I am so incredibly sad for this family. They were given such a short time with their daughter, and it seems so unfair. I struggle to find hope and meaning. How could a loving God take such a precious gift? Hundreds and hundreds of people (many probably strangers) commented on their blog that they were praying for Preslee. So why? Why weren’t the prayers of hundreds answered? I can’t stop thinking about this story. I can’t help but wonder how this could happen to such faithful people. Parker has been in my life for 5 months and I cannot imagine losing him. Somehow children burrow themselves into your heart and they force it to grow. I love Parker more that anything I have ever loved, and the thought of losing him is unbearable. It truly makes me realize how short and fragile life is. My heart is breaking and to be honest there is a big part of me that is angry. I don’t understand. Life is so unfair sometimes, and I know that is how it is… but it doesn’t make it any easier. I hope that Preslee’s parents can find more peace than I can. I pray they will be filled with comfort and support. I don’t normally link blogs due to privacy, but I feel like this is okay. Give them support. I believe even strangers can be comforting. http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com/

I’m going to go cuddle Parker and enjoy the moments I get with him.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Goals??

Okay, I was reading back through my blog… because I’m bored… and I came across a blog that had some goals on it. It was a list of things I wanted to do by 30…… I’ll be 28 next month… so really, I have 2 years to do this stuff…. Looksies at this list!

1) Go to Africa to work in an orphanage.
2) Learn a foreign language.
3) Own a Mustang (Car not horse)
4) Have my Master's Degree.
5) Run a marathon
6) Live on my own (hahahaha, sad that that made the list)
7) Have more than 127 dollars in my savings account.
8) Go on a cruise (conquer my fear of the ocean)
9) Finish my book.
10) "quit" therapy.
11) Skydive
12) Visit every state in the US

 

So… I did #6. And, I’m pretty close to #4. Otherwise…….. I’m not making any progress! So…… we’ll see.. Maybe I need to rethink my list??!!??

Monday, July 5, 2010

Freedom

This post is a day late, I realize. Yesterday was Independence Day. This is  big deal. It is easy to get caught up in the barbeques, fireworks, parades, and parties, but it is important to remember why we celebrate the 4th of July. I can’t imagine a life without Freedom. I like doing what I want, when I want. I like being a free woman. A woman that doesn’t have to worry about the clothes I wear or the company I keep. My dad was in the Army as a young man. He served two 4 year terms in general artillery. He was not in a war (thank God), but he served our country just the same. My grandpa was also in the Army. He served in WW2. I am proud of them. I am proud that I have servicemen in my bloodline. I have many dear friends that have served (or are serving) in Iraq and Kuwait. They have sacrificed for me. I feel safe in my home and country. Happy (late) 4th of July. Remember why we celebrate!!

Today is my dad’s birthday. He died 10 1/2 years ago, but I still want to celebrate him. He would be 70 today! That seems so crazy to me!! I miss him so much. I wish he were here to have birthday cake. I wish he were here to hug me and love me. Happy Birthday Daddy. I love you. I miss you.

princess 1  Princess taking a comfy nap :) I love this dog!

car Oh yeah… I bought a new car!! 2010 Toyota Corolla! She’s a beaut! I haven’t named her yet… but I have a few ideas in mind :)